PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 100. May 2, 1891. SONGS OF THE UN-SENTIMENTALIST. A DUSTMAN'S SILENT TEAR. I know not how that Dustman stirred my ire: He may have failed to call when due: but he-- My breast being charged with economic fire,-- Was mulcted of his customary fee. I was informed, at first he did not seem To grasp the cruel sense of what he heard, But asked, "Wot's this 'ere game?" as if some dream Of evil portents all his pulses stirred; Then, muttering, he turned, and went his way Dejected, broken! I had stopped his beer! Ah! from that Dustman who, alas! can say I did not wring a sad and silent tear! I thought the matter o'er. I vowed no more, That I with grief would moisten any eye; Henceforth, whene'er that Dustman passed my door, Upon his beer he knew he could rely! Nay more! For never heeding if my bin Were full or empty, I that Dustman hailed; His grateful smile my one desire to win; I felt I could not help it if I failed. Twice every week he came,--his twopence drew: That Dustman seemed to brighten with his beer. And, if he wept, thank Heaven, at least I knew With joy, not grief, _he shed his silent tear!_ * * * * * LEAVES FROM A CANDIDATE'S DIARY. [CONTINUED.] _Thursday, April 16_.--On looking through my book I find that I am now a member of ten Billsbury Cricket Clubs, to most of which I am a Vice-President. Not bad, considering that my average in my last year at school was four, and that I didn't play more than half-a-dozen times at Oxford. TOLLAND says there are many more Foot-ball Clubs than Cricket Clubs--a pleasant prospect for me in the Autumn. Have also had to subscribe to six Missions of various kinds, four Easter Monday _Fêtes_, six Friendly Societies, three Literary and Scientific Institutes, five Temperance Associations, four Quoit Clubs, two Swimming Clubs, seven Sunday Schools, five Church or Chapel Building Funds, three Ornithological Societies, two Christian Young Men's Associations, three Children's Free Dinner Funds, one Angling Association, not to speak of Fire Brigade, Dispensaries, and Brass Bands. Have also given a Prize to be shot for by Volunteers, as CHUBSON gives one every year. What with £80 subscription to the Registration Fund, things are beginning to mount up pretty considerably. [Illustration]