_Thursday._--_Lohengrin_ I believe, but wasn't there. Hope the Opera went all right without me. Can't be in more places than one at the same moment. Same remarks apply to Friday and Saturday. * * * * * TO MISS ALICE ATHERTON AT THE STRAND THEATRE. To see her in _Our Daughters_! worth the money! She 'ATH ER "TON" so genuinely funny! Yes, ALICE, in such acting, dance, or song, We recognise thy talent _et ton_ "_ton_." * * * * * Of the Modern Bill of Costs, the Ancient "Bill of the Play," SHAKSPEARE, and the present representative of the Ancient Mariner, L.C.J. COLERIDGE, both observe, "Oh, reform it altogether!" * * * * * [Illustration: WHAT OUR FIN-DE-SIÈCLISTS ARE GROWING TO. "OH, OH, OH! CONFOUND IT!" "WHAT _IS_ THE MATTER, ALGY?" "I JUST LET MY FOOT OUT ON THE STIRRUP, AND THIS BEAST OF A PONY'S TROD ON MY TOE!"] * * * * * HYMEN AND CUPID. (_FIN-DE-SIÈCLE VERSION, SOME WAY AFTER MOORE._) HYMEN, late, his love-knots selling, Called at many a maiden's dwelling; But he found too well they knew him; None were prompter to pooh-pooh him. "Who'll buy my love-knots? Who'll buy my love-knots?" Soon as that old cry resounded. How his baskets were surrounded! Maidens mocked, with laughter dying, Those fool-knots of HYMEN's tying; Dames, who once with him had sided, Openly his wares derided. "Who'll buy my love-knots? Who'll buy my love-knots?" All at that old cry came flocking, Mocking in a style quite shocking. "Here are knots," said HYMEN, taking Some loose nooses of Law's making. "Pooh!" the nymphs cried. "Who can trust 'em? We have changed your queer old custom. Who'll buy your love-knots? Who'll buy your love-knots? Women they bind not, nor tie men. You're a helpless gaoler, HYMEN! "When the bargain is completed, We have but to cry, 'We're cheated!' And you'll find you're sold most sadly. Love-knots? Fools'-knots! They tie badly. Who'll buy _your_ love-knots? Who'll buy _your_ love-knots? Burdens you would lay our backs on-- Our reply is--TOLSTOI! JACKSON!" HYMEN dropped his torch; its splutter Was extinguished in the gutter. "At my torch and crown of roses These young minxes cock their noses. Who'll buy my love-knots? Who'll buy my love-knots?" What's the use? 'Twixt Law and Passion, HYMEN's plainly out of fashion! LOVE, who saw the whole proceeding, Would have laughed but for good breeding. "Best join _me_," he cried, "Old Chappie! IBSEN read, be free, and happy! Who'll buy your love-knots? Who'll buy your love-knots? Have a spree--all shackles scorning, Come! We won't go home till morning!'" * * * * * A BACONIAN THEORY; OR, TRYING IT ON.