Poor little man! Yes, I _had_ a plan, and a perfectly plain one, too, boy; But--I fear--for a moment--I've--lost the clue! Ah! I'm awfully sorry for _you_ boy! You have been on your feet for a precious long time, and all this roundaboutation, _Is_ "_plusquam_-Thucydidean," perhaps, and at any rate mean aggravation. But you'll please understand I'm a very "cool hand;" there's abundance of "humour" about me, And though for a jiffy I _seem_ at a loss, don't you come for to go for to doubt me. 'Tis most complicated, this Miz-Maze! I've stated the clue I've let slip for a moment, And LABBY, no doubt, and his henchmen, will shout and indulge in invidious comment: The _Times_, too, may gird, and declare 'tis absurd not to know _one's own Labyrinth_ better. The _Times_ is my friend, but a trifle too fond of the goad and the scourge and the fetter; You really can't rule the whole civilised world with the aid of the whip and the closure; Though I _should_ enjoy--but no matter, my boy, let us try to maintain our composure! _When shall we get out?_ That's a matter of doubt, cross-hedges my pathway still chequer, The clue I've let slip, but you just take my tip; we'll get clear--if you keep up your pecker! * * * * * CHANGE FOR THIRTY-FIVE SHILLINGS. There is a singular directness of purpose in the following advertisement which appears in the _Daily News_:-- REPORTER (27), now on Weekly, WANTS CHANGE. 35s. The advertiser not only wants change, but he mentions the exact sum. It seems odd. One often wants change for a sovereign, and even oftener wants the sovereign itself. But what precise coin a man hands you when he wants thirty-five shillings change is not quite clear. * * * * * [Illustration: IN A MAZE. MASTER LAND BILL. "OH, MR. BALFOUR, I'M _SO_ TIRED!" MR. B. "CHEER UP, LITTLE MAN! NEXT TURN TO THE RIGHT,--AND I HOPE WE SHALL BE OUT OF IT!!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Dealer's Man_ (_confidentially_). "NICE 'OSS, SIR. JUST SUIT _YOU_, SIR. NICE PERMISCUOUS 'OSS, SIR!--_YOU CAN SIT ON HIM A'MOST ANYWHERE!_"] * * * * * LEAVES FROM A CANDIDATE'S DIARY. _Billsbury, May 5_.--Received the following letter from TOLLAND yesterday:-- 45, _Main Street, Billsbury, May 3._ DEAR MR. PATTLE,