And who's your new Jock? His seat seems a bit queer. _Trainer_. Well, Sir, don't you see, it's just this way. He's borrowed, That Jock is; a wonderful pet of Brum JOE's Must work with his Party; some of us have sorrowed To make such close pals of such reglar old foes; The horse don't half like him, I'm bound to admit it, Between you and me I don't like it myself, For me and dear JOSEPH have not always hit it. But then, he stands in; we must look to the pelf; Can't afford to offend him, our Stable can't--blow it! Eh! What? You have heard me disparage Boy Bill As too Free in his ways by long chalks. Well, I know it; But JOE is dead nuts on his go and his skill-- The Blinkers? Oh yes! Horse not used to him yet, Sir, And if he should spot him, might throw the young pup-- We _must_ "go it blind," only square chance, you bet, Sir, Of winning,--espesh'lly with JOE's jockey up! * * * * * [Illustration C100-259: "GENERAL ELECTION STAKES." MR. P. "WHAT! RUNNING HIM IN BLINKERS?" G-SCH-N (_Trainer_). "YES; IT'S THE ONLY CHANCE OF A WIN.--ESPECIALLY WITH _THAT JOCKEY_ UP!"] * * * * * [Illustration: IT'S A GREAT THING FOR A MAN TO KNOW WHEN HE'S WELL OFF.] * * * * * SALISBURY'S VERSION. (_SEE THE PREMIER'S SPEECH AT GLASGOW._) War is a game Which, if Kings have their will, Peoples won't play at. * * * * * "FRENCH AS SHE IS SPOKE."--The indefatigable international _entrepreneur_, Mr. M.L. MAYER,--who announces himself as "Sole Manager," evidently, therefore, a fishmonger, and, according to _Hamlet_, a representatively "honest man,"--intends to save Londoners the trouble and expense of visiting Paris by giving them three weeks, from June 15th to July 4th, of French plays, performed by the Théâtre Français Company, including Mesdames REICHENBERG and DUDLEY, three COQUELINS, one FEBVRE, and one MOUNET SULLY, at the Royalty Theatre. Those whose hobby is the French Theatre, will be delighted to assist at the start of the well-trained MAYER, who has achieved the curious feat of "saddling himself" with this responsibility. * * * * * PARLIAMENTARY DIAGNOSIS.--"Inflammation"--of temper--is the preliminary of "Congestion"--of business, and these threaten to culminate in "Collapse"--of credit. * * * * * LEAVES FROM A CANDIDATE'S DIARY.