Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 9, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 9, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Tuesday_.--OLD MORALITY walked out of House just now, his back
suffused with sense of duty done, alike to QUEEN and Country. Irish
Land Bill, which, as CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN says, makes a Moated Grange of
House of Commons, on again all day. SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE and
his Party active as usual. The PARTY a little doubtful of the SAGE.
Sometimes, in blessed intervals of silence, is discovered gazing on
a bald space on back of SAGE'S head, striving, as it were, to pierce
through this weak spot, and discover what is in the SAGE'S mind. The
SAGE in outward manner most deferential and encouraging. Misses no
opportunity of publicly applauding him. It is true that when the SAGE
has got him on his legs, starting afresh on new Amendment, he seizes
the opportunity to slink out of the House, and take another cigarette,
quite certain that the PARTY is good for half-an-hour. This, and one
or two other little things, create a suspicion in the mind of the
PARTY, who was not brought up in India for nothing. WILFRID LAWSON,
who sits close by, and keenly watches progress of events, says he has
no doubt the time will come when the PARTY will revolt.
"KEAY," says WILFRID, "occupies a strategical position, which gives
him a great pull over LABBY. His respected Leader sits on the bench
immediately below him. Some day SEYMOUR KEAY'S wild Mahratta blood may
boil over, an unsuspected scimitar may flash forth from his trouser
pocket, and the SAGE'S head, falling gory on the floor of the House,
may gently, from mere force of habit, roll in the direction of Queen
Anne's Gate."
"For a real sanguinary-minded man," said RITCHIE, to whom I told this
story, "give me a teetotaller."
The PARTY, with some assistance from Windbag SEXTON, wasted sitting
till quarter to seven. By this time, all Amendments to Clause 3 being
wearily worn off, opportunity just left to pass Clause before Sitting
adjourned. Question put that Clause 3 pass. Then SAGE, smelling
obtrusively of cigarettes, interposed, and declared it "would be
indecent" to accept the Clause without further discussion. Nothing
House shrinks from just now more abjectly than from charge of
indecency. Accordingly debate stood over, and Thursday may, if
the SAGE and his Party please, and the Closure is not invoked, be
appropriated for further discussion of Clause 3.
OLD MORALITY might have moved Closure at twelve minutes to seven,
and carried Clause 3. Committee naturally expected he would. But OLD
MORALITY had another card up his sleeve. At very last moment, whilst
Members trooped out, and it was thought all was over, OLD MORALITY
gave notice of motion to take the whole time of House, including
Tuesday and Friday nights' evening sittings.
"I think you had them there," I said, as we walked across to Grosvenor
Place.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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