There's not a London-Teuton but this day Hath a new welcome for the English May. Germania from her distant home In Flora's train this year doth come. She hath despatched her country's cream Of things, to make the Cockney dream. Neptune and she have wooed and plighted troth, And her we give May-welcome, nothing loth, As many a welcome we have given To France, Spain, Italy! War hath riven Many true hearts, but we're content Of Peace to make experiment. Blow Teuton horn--(not like "_Hernani's_" braying!)-- It makes new music as we go a-Maying! Come, let us go, while May is in its prime, And make the best of the brief Season's time. HERRICK'S CORINNA might not see An Urban May Queen such as we Behold disport in our rare sun. Rouse, Nymph! The Season is begun! We'll trust no blizzard, and no boreal rain May mar "Our Opening Day." Sound flutes again! Pipe, Sir FREDERICK! Ah, well played! Tootle thy new strains, fair Maid. Blow, oh Briny One, with might! Teuton BRUNEHILD, glad our sight! Fashion's Floralia, Nymph, invite our straying; Come, my CORINNA, come; let's go a-Maying! * * * * * [Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID. _Painter_. "WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT? THIS IS THE PICTURE THEY'VE THOUGHT PROPER TO REJECT! I'LL BE SO BOLD AS TO SAY, THERE ARE NOT TWENTY BETTER IN THE WHOLE EXHIBITION!" _Friend_. "DEAR ME! IS IT SUCH A POOR ACADEMY AS THAT?"] * * * * * THE HUMOUR O'T! (_Namely of Parliament, as seen through Harry Furniss's fancy._) AIR--"_The Wooing o't._" LIKA JOKO makes us laugh, Ha! ha! the humour o't! With caricature and caustic chaff; He! he! the humour o't! Parliament strikes some as slow, LIKA JOKO deems not so; Visit _his_ St. Stephen's Show! Humph! humph! the humour o't! GLADSTONE stern and GLADSTONE staid, Ha! ha! the humour o't! GLADSTONE in war-paint arrayed, He! he! the humour o't! GLADSTONE "Out" and GLADSTONE "In," GLADSTONE with colossal chin, Giant collars plunged within, Humph! humph! the humour o't! SMITH with bland perennial smile, Ha! ha! the humour o't! BALFOUR, pet of the Green Isle, He! he! the humour o't! HARCOURT, big as Babel's tower, GOSCHEN, with myopic glower, JOSEPH of the orchid-flower. Humph! humph! the humour o't! How they muster, how they "tell," Ha! ha! the humour o't! Woes of the Division Bell, He! he! the humour o't! _All_--from Prayers to "Who goes Home?" O'er St. Stephens you may roam; LIKA JOKO bids you. Come! Humph! humph! the humour o't! LIKA JOKO is a wag, Ha! ha! the humour o't! All the tricks are in his bag, He! he! the humour o't! He can mimic, he can mime, Draw, and act, and--what is prime-- _Keep you laughing all the time._ Humph! humph! the humour o't! * * * * *