Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 9, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 9, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Mrs. E._ Oh, please, I'm so uneasy about dear Mr. LÖVBORG. Something
has happened to him, I'm sure!
_Judge Brack_ (_comes in from the hall, with a new hat in his hand_).
You have guessed it, first time. Something _has!_
_Mrs. E._ Oh, dear, good gracious! What is it? Something distressing,
I'm certain of it! [_d._
_Brack_ (_pleasantly_). That depends on how one takes it. He has shot
himself, and is in a hospital now, that's all!
_George_ (_sympathetically_). That's sad, eh? poor old LÖVBORG! Well,
I _am_ cut up to hear that. Fancy, though, eh?
_Hedda_. Was it through the temple, or through the breast? The breast?
Well, one can do it beautifully through the breast, too. Do you know,
as an advanced woman, I like an act of that sort--it's so positive, to
have the courage to settle the account with himself--it's beautiful,
really!
_Mrs. E._ Oh, HEDDA, what an odd way to look at it! But never mind
poor dear Mr. LÖVBORG now. What _we've_ got to do is to see if we
can't put his wonderful manuscript, that he said he had torn to
pieces, together again. (_Takes a bundle of small pages out of the
pocket of her mantle._) There are the loose scraps he dictated it to
me from. I hid them on the chance of some such emergency. And if
dear Mr. TESMAN and I were to put our heads together, I _do_ think
something might come of it.
_George_. Fancy! I will dedicate my life--or all I can spare of it--to
the task. I seem to feel I owe him some slight amends, perhaps. No use
crying over spilt milk, eh, Mrs. ELVSTED? We'll sit down--just you and
I--in the back drawing-room, and see if you can't inspire me as you
did him, eh?
_Mrs. E._ Oh, goodness, yes! I should like it--if it only might be
possible!
[GEORGE _and_ Mrs. E. _go into the back Drawing-room and
become absorbed in eager conversation_; HEDDA _sits in a chair in the
front room, and a little later_ BRACK _crosses over to her._
_Hedda_ (_in a low tone_). Oh, Judge, _what_ a relief to know that
everything--including LÖVBORG'S pistol--went off so well! In the
breast! Isn't there a veil of unintentional beauty in that? Such an
act of voluntary courage, too!
_Brack_ (_smiles_). Hm!--perhaps, dear Mrs. HEDDA--
_Hedda_ (_enthusiastically_). But _wasn't_ it sweet of him! To have
the courage to live his own life after his own fashion--to break away
from the banquet of life--_so_ early and _so_ drunk! A beautiful act
like that _does_ appeal to a superior woman's imagination!
_Brack_. Sorry to shatter your poetical illusions, little Mrs. HEDDA,
but, as a matter of fact, our lamented friend met his end under other
circumstances. The shot did _not_ strike him in the _breast_--but--
[_Pauses._
_Hedda_ (_excitedly_). General GABLER'S pistols! I might have known
it! Did they _ever_ shoot straight? Where _was_ he hit, then?
_Brack_ (_in a discreet undertone_). A little lower down!
_Hedda_. Oh, _how_ disgusting!--how vulgar!--how ridiculous!--like
everything else about me!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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