Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, August 1, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, August 1, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
The Sound of the voice was exceeding Sweet, and wrought into a
variety of inflections. It put me in mind of those heavenly Airs that
are played from the tops of closely-packed wheeled Vehicles, from
many-keyed Concertinas upon Bank-Holidays. My Heart melted away in
Secret Raptures. By which signs I--who had read my _Spectator_ at the
Free Library--knew well that I was in the company of a Genius! It is
only Genii who drop upon one suddenly and unannounced, with a more or
less pertinent commentary upon one's Inner Thoughts, in this fashion.
I felt at once that I was in for the true Addisonian Oriental Apologue
in all its hybrid incongruity.
I drew near with that Reverence which is due to a Superior--if
nondescript Nature; and as my Heart was entirely subdued by the
captivating Voice I had heard, I fell down at his Feet and wept. I
could hardly have explained why, but 'tis the sort of thing one always
does in an Eastern Apologue. The Genius smiled upon me with a Look of
Compassion and Affability that familiarised him to my Imagination, at
once dispelled all the Fears and Apprehensions with which I approached
him, and turned off my Tearfulness "at the main," as _Samuel Weller_
said, concerning the Mulberry One. He lifted me from the ground, and,
taking me by the hand, "MIRZAH," said he, "I have heard thee in thy
Soliloquies; follow me!"
Now, my name is _not_ MIRZAH, but MATTHEW. Yet, after all, it did not
much matter, and I felt it would be in questionable taste to correct a
Genius.
He then led me to the highest Pinnacle of a Rock, and, placing me on
the Top of it, "Cast thy Eyes yonder," said he, "and tell me what
thou seest." "I see," said I, "a huge Valley, and a prodigious Roadway
running through it." "The Valley that thou seest," said he, "is the
Vale of Travel, and the Roadway that thou beholdest is part of the
great Railway System." "What is the Reason," said I, "that the Roadway
I see rises out of a thick Mist at one End, and again loses itself
in a thick Mist at the other?" "Monopoly and Muddle freely engender
Mists," responded the Genius. "Examine now," said he, "the Roadway
that is bounded with Darkness at both ends, and tell me what thou
discoverest in it." "I see a Bridge," said I, "standing in the midst
of the Roadway." "Consider it attentively," said he.
Upon a more leisurely Survey of it--a Survey which, meseemed, it would
have been well had Others made with similar Attentiveness--I found
that the Arch thereof looked shaky and insecure; moreover, that a
Great and Irregular-shaped Cleft or Crack ran, after the fashion of a
Lightning-flash in a Painted Sea-scape, athwart the structure thereof
from Keystone to Coping. As I was regarding this unpleasing Portent,
the Genius told me that this Bridge was at first of sound and
scientific construction, but that the flight of Years, Wear and Tear,
vehement Molecular Vibration, and, above all, Negligent Supervision,
had resulted in its present Ruinous Condition.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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