The Boy-King's Guide to the proper and decent method of presiding at a Cabinet Council, showing how the same may be conducted conjointly with the introduction of Ninepins, or some other equally interesting, intellectual, and manly game. List of the best Sweet-stuff Shops. Ditto, ditto of what's going on, and most worth looking up in places we visit. Hand-Book to _Leger de Main_, with special reference to Practical Joking at State Functions, and other High Jinks! Shilling Hand-Book to _Home Made Fireworks_, with Permanent Order signed by War Minister for supply of necessary materials. * * * * * HYJINKS AND HYGIENE. Hygiene and Demography! Never before With such wonderful names has a Conference met, With statistics by thousands and papers galore As to what Demos wants, as to what he's to get. It's not always perfectly clear what they mean. Yet, perhaps an outsider is right when he thinks Though no doubt they would die for beloved Hygiene, As a matter of fact they indulge in High Jinks. * * * * * NEW WORK BY SIR AUGUSTUS DRURIOLANUS--to be included in the "_Opera Omnia_," by the same Author writing under a _nom de plume_, entitled, "_Legs Taglionis; or, Little Steps for Babes in the Ballet. By a Pa' de Quatre_." Also "_Classes and Lasses_," same series. * * * * * [Illustration: A PIOUS FRAUD! "HULLO, MONTY, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN YOUR BUTTON-HOLE? YOU DON'T MEAN TO SAY YOU'VE JOINED THE BLUE RIBBON ARMY?"--"YES; FOR THIS NIGHT ONLY. GOING TO DINE WITH JAKES. DON'T WANT TO HURT POOR OLD JAKES'S FEELINGS--DON'T WANT TO BE POISONED BY HIS BEASTLY WINE. SEE?"] * * * * * NEPTUNE'S "AT HOME;" OR, NEIGHBOURS UNITED. The French are all coming, for so they declare, Of their fleet and their tars all the papers advise us; They're to come o'er the sea and to Portsmouth repair, Their squadrons at Spithead will please, not surprise us. Their fleet is to come for a right friendly spree; To promise them "skylarks" is hardly presumption. They're welcome to NEPTUNE's old "Halls by the Sea." Of powder and grog there'll be mighty consumption, In toasts and salutes, for they're friends and invited; JOHN and JOHNNY clasp paws, And drink deep to the Cause Of NEPTUNE's two guests and brave Neighbours United!