Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, August 29, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, August 29, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Of course HIGLINSON should have changed his name, and should have
married. But the idiotic notions about pluck prevented him from
changing his name; and he would not marry a woman who accepted him
from only mercenary motives. He was so unattractive that he did
not think it possible a woman would marry him for any other reason.
However, he could not always be superintending the manufacture of
Blacking-cream; and it was obvious to him that he could publish no
more verses. So he devoted himself to philanthropy in a quiet and
unostentatious way. He attempted the reclamation of street-arabs.
He worked among them. He spent vast sums on providing education,
training, and decent pleasures for them. A man who wrote for _The
Scalpel_ found him out at last. Next day there was a pretty little
paragraph in _The Scalpel_, showing Mr. HIGLINSON up, and suggesting
that this was a clever attempt to get the London shoe-blacks to use
HIGLINSON's Blacking-cream. The Blacking-cream, by the way, had never
been advertised in _The Scalpel_.
HIGLINSON was furious. He spent a little money in finding out who had
written the paragraph. Then he walked up to the writer in a public
street, with raised walking-stick. "Now, Sir," he said, "you shall
have the thrashing that you deserve."
[Illustration]
But it happened that the writer was physically superior to HIGLINSON;
so it was the writer who did the thrashing, and HIGLINSON who took it.
Next day, _The Scalpel_ amused itself with HIGLINSON to the extent of
half a column. The notice was headed:--
"MR. HIGLINSON ADVERTISES HIMSELF AGAIN."
Other newspapers also amused themselves, and HIGLINSON became
notorious. The Blacking-cream sold better than ever, and brought him
enormous profits. But if he attempted to spend those profits on any
object, good or bad, it was always insisted that he was simply doing
it for advertisement. The public became interested in HIGLINSON; and
untrue stories about his private life appeared freely in personal
columns. He was rich enough now to have relinquished his business, but
those idiotic notions about pluck prevented him from doing this. He
meant to go through with it, and to make the public believe in him
just as much as they believed in the Blacking-cream. He found about
this time someone who did believe in him; he began to change his views
about marriage; he was to some extent consoled.
He was passing over the bridge one night, and had just bought
an evening paper. His own name caught his eye. It was the usual
paragraph, not more hateful to him than others that had appeared, as
far as he himself was concerned; but her name was in it as well, and
he imagined to himself just how she would feel when she read it. He
walked on a few paces, and then his pluck all vanished suddenly, as
if it had been blown away into space, and it did not seem to be worth
while to stop in such a world any longer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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