P.S.--I reopen this letter to say that I have just read in an evening paper a terrible account of the total destruction by a tornado of the town in Canada which was poor TOM's place of exile. "The loss of life," it is added, "has been great, and several Englishmen are amongst the victims." No names are given. Good gracious! If TOM has indeed perished, how am I ever to forgive myself for neglecting him? What must he have thought of me? I curse myself in vain for my--bah! What is the use of telling you this? The same paper informs me, in the elegant language appropriate to these occasions, that "Mr. FIGTREE, Q.C., has been offered, and has accepted, the vacant Lord-Justiceship of Appeal." * * * * * AN OPPORTUNITY.--A Lyme Regis Correspondent sends us the following advertisement, found, he says, in the _Bridport News_; we omit dates and names:-- ---- will SELL by AUCTION, Three Fine DAIRY COWS to calve _respectfully_ in Dec., April, and May next. An excellent double-feeding chaff-cutter, &c. A respectful cow will no doubt fulfil her engagements honorably. "A double-feeding chaff-cutter" ought to be an acquisition to a fast set on a coach at the Derby, though of course his "double-feeding" powers would have to be amply provided for at luncheon time. * * * * * "The nearest thing to 'setting the Thames on fire,'" said a quiet traveller by the Underground, "is the announcement which you will now see at the St. James's Park Station:--'A LIGHT HERE FOR NIAGARA.'" "Why," exclaimed an irate passenger to the timid suggestion of the above, "of course it doesn't mean _that_." Then he added, contemptuously, "Get out!" Which he did. * * * * * [Illustration: RUSTICUS EXPECTANS. (NEW POLITICAL VERSION OF AN OLD FABLE.)] * * * * * RUSTICUS EXPECTANS; _OR, THE NEW DUMBLEDUMDEARY._ "Rusticus expectat, dum defluat amnis; at ille Labitur, et labetur in omne volubilis ævum." HORACE. AIR--"_DUMBLEDUMDEARY_." In the fall of the year, when M.P.'s were about, And speeches burst forth like a waterspout, HODGE took up his bundle, and caught up his staff, And went for a walk--if you please, don't laugh!-- Singing dumbledumdeary, dumbledumdeary, Dumble, dumble, dumbledumdee! Oh, HODGE had put on his bettermost smock, And wore his billycock gaily a-cock; For HODGE nowadays is a person of note, And great Governments bow to the "hind,"--with a vote. Singing dumbledumdeary, &c. So he strolled on wi'out dread or fear Of Squoire or Parson, or County Peer, For the spouting M.P. and the Liberal Van Had made of the shock-headed joskin a Man! Singing dumbledumdeary, &c.