We've jist bin and had sitch a Pannick in the City as we ain't not had since the prowd and orty Portogeese threttened to stop any more old Port from leaving of their shores, unless we guv 'em up ever so much of the hinside of Afrikey. Ah, that was a pannick that was, and all us Waiters felt it severially, but her Majesty's Guvernment, seeing at wunce the sollem natur of the threat, made such terrems as settled the hole affair, and Port went down as ushal. [Illustration] Well that was bad enuff in all conshense, but it was nothink to what we has all bin threttened with, from the Lord MARE on his throne of power to the umblest waiter of his royal estaberlishmunt. I herd ony last week from the Gildall Beedle, so it must be trew, that ever so many of what's called Comishunners of Suers had cum a tearing down stairs from their place up above, a cussin and a swearin like mad, becoz the Kumpany as was a jest beginnin for to lite up our streets with Lectrissity. had writtin for to say as they coodn't get it dun for more nor another year. Well that was bad enutf for them as likes that tell-tail lite, "but wuss remanes behind," as the Pote says; and I reelly ardly xpecs to be beleeved when I says, as they threttened not to lite up the onered Manshun Ouse to the werry last! and as the gas has all a bin taken away, there wooden have been not no lites, and consequently not no Dinner in that grand Ome of Horspitallerty, not for twelve long weary hungry munse! The shudder as run thro Gildhall when this was fust menshund, the Beedel tells me, was sumthink quite orful, and the langwidge used, ewen by anshant Deppertys, sumthink not to remember, but sumthink to forget as soon as posserbel. However, a gentle reminder from them as could do what they threttind, whether it was six months' hard, or suppenshun from wun of their own tall, red lamp postesses, brort them all to their sewen senses, and everythink is to be reddy for the fust State Bankwet at the reglar hour on the reglar day; and so the dedly wroth of the grand old Copperashun is apeezed, and there is no longer enny tork of a mighty band of hindignent Welshers a marching up to Town to awenge the dedly hinsult with which their poplar Monnark was threttined! Wun of our werry cleverest Depputys said to me.--"Ah, Mr. ROBERT, if our ennemys had reelly xtinguished all our light, I shoud indeed have said, with the Pote, _Habsent Homen!_" I didn't kno a bit what he meant, but I rayther think it were sumthink seesonnabel about Ome sweet Ome, or about the likker "habsinth," wich I don't hold with. But I quite agreed with him. ROBERT. * * * * * A ROYAL "HAPPY THOUGHT" IN DECEMBER.--The Promise of MAY. * * * * * [Illustration: "SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE," &C. _Ethel_. "MUMMY DEAR, WHY DID YOU TELL RICHARD YOU 'WEREN'T AT HOME' JUST NOW?" (_Pause._) "MUMMY, I MEAN--" _Mamma_. "WHEN SIR FUSBY DODDERIDGE CALLED? WHY, ETHEL DEAR, BECAUSE HE BORES ME."