Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, December 19, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, December 19, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
A STORY OF THE SEA (_told on the Beach at Brighton_).--"Fine day for a
sail, Sir!"
* * * * *
[Illustration: A PROMISING FOUR-YEAR-OLD.
At the Meet he attracted no little attention.
When Hounds went away, he quickly assumed a prominent position.
Though his manner of taking Rails was rather risky,
Yet his Courage was undeniable.
He proved excellent at Water,
And his method of taking the Fox from the Hounds was novel and
entertaining.]
* * * * *
TOLD IN TAGS.
We have recently been favoured by a communication from a firm of
Publishers, which informs us that, in a story sent for review, "by
an oversight of the binder," the Epilogue was omitted, and inclosing
that interesting document. We have perused the four pages with so much
pleasure, that we suggest that, instead of writing the whole story,
novelists, in future, should only publish the final chapter, which
might be beneficially compressed into a few lines. As a lead, we print
a few conclusions, to serve as models:--
_Specimen of a Happy Ending_.--And so there was nothing more to do
but to get married, and consequently EDWIN led no happier bride to
the altar than his much persecuted and greatly tried ANGELINA. So the
bells of Tinkleton rang out their merriest chimes as the sun went down
on the stately towers of Castle Sympleton.
_Specimen of an Unhappy Ending_.--So, at peace with all the world,
still holding the hand she loved so well, and smiling a smile that
brought tears into the eyes of the good old Colonial Bishop, FLORA
faded away into the Golden Dream she knew so well!
_Specimen of a Mysterious Ending_.--And so HUGH, carrying a lamp
in his right hand, and grasping the blade of his sword in his left,
entered the cave of which he had heard so much. Will he ever return?
Who can tell?
_Specimen of a Comic Ending_.--"So it was you, after all!" cried the
Cheesemonger, with a shout of laughter.
EGERTON SWELLINGTON smiled an assent.
"Then all I can say," continued the worthy trader, "is, that a miss is
as good as a mile."
And, for once in his life, Mr. DOUBLECHIN was absolutely right!
_Specimen of the Poetical Ending_.--So with the blue-bells sighing
soft music, and the stars chanting their soothing lullaby, the sweet
soul of MARIA realised the truth that--
'Tis better to have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all.
_Specimen of the Shocker's Ending_.--And with a gasp and a reel, Sir
RALPH fell back, back, back, down the precipice, and an hour later was
found by the patrolling coast-guardsman a quivering mass of senseless
humanity!
_Specimen of the Christmas Ending_.--And so, linked hand in hand,
father and mother, son and daughter, husband and wife, nephew and
niece, bowed their heads beneath the holly and mistletoe, and wished
one another, with a heartiness that told volumes, "A Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year!"
* * * * *
QUERIES FOR CAMBRIDGE EXAM. PAPER.--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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