The old Roman geeser, CAT ULLUS, who wrote that _de Arrio_ bosh, Wos a poet, of course, and a classick, two things as to-day will not wash; Bet yer boots Master ARRIUS 'ad 'im on toast, the old mug, every time, And that's why he took his revenge like, in verse without reason _or_ rhyme. Young ARRIUS's huncle, he tells us, talked similar patter. No doubt! _Havunculus hejus_, I reckon, knew wot he was dashed well about. I say bully for LIBER, and chance it. 'Tain't whether you say Hill or 'Ill, It's whether you're able to _climb_ it; and that's where the prigs git their pill. There's a party who, in the _St. James's Gazette_, dear old pal, 'tother day, Took _my_ name, not pertikler in vain, though, and called hisself "'ARRY B.A." Wrote smart, he did, CHARLIE, and slick-like, but "'ARRY B.A." isn't Me! No fear! 'ARRY's not sech an A double S as to want a "Degree." I know wot's wuth knowin', I reckon, and wot I don't know I can learn, Without mortar-board 'ats and black bedgowns, or stuffing my brains till they turn. To be well _in_ the know is my maxum, but as for "Compulsory Greek," Would it give me, I wonder, a hextry "compulsory" two quid a week? Wy, I knew an old 'atchet-faced party, as lodged in our 'ouse years ago, _Oozed_ Greek as a plum-tree does gum-blobs; trarnslated for BUFFINS & Co., The popular publishers, CHARLIE. I know 'twas a dooce of a grind For poor MAGSWORTH to earn fifteen quid, and at last he went hout of 'is mind. Yus, died of a softening, they told us, through sitting up six months on end At a book of Greek plays. Poor old buffer, he hadn't five pounds nor a friend; But Degrees? He fair rolled in 'em, CHARLIE! He offered to teach me a lot, But one lesson in Greek settled me; it's the crackjorest speshus of rot! ARRY STUFFY KNEES sounds pooty ropy; he's one of their classickal pets; Old THOOSY DIDES, too, he's another. In high Huniwarsity sets They chuck 'em in chunks at each other, like mossels of Music 'All gag, And at forty they've clean slap forgot 'em! _I_ want to know where comes the swag? Hedgercation is all very proper, purviding it gives yer the pull Hover parties as don't know the ropes, in a market that's mostly too full; But this Classick kerriculum's kibosh, Greek plays, Latin verse and all that. All CAT ULLUS's haitches won't 'elp yer, if Nature 'as built yer a flat! Though ARRIUS's haspirates rucked, and made Mister CAT ULLUS chi-ike, He was probably jest such a rattler as poets and prigs _never_ like, When a chap knows 'is book, piles the ochre, perhaps becomes pal to a Prince, Lor! it's wonderful 'ow a dropped haitch or two _do_ make the mealy-mouths wince.