_Prac. Pas._ The best thing we can do is to utilise the Tunnel, pour into France, and stay there! It will be only changing sides! [_Conversation interrupted by whistle, and consequent rattle and darkness._ * * * * * THE SPHINX AND THE STICK. _A SONG WHEREIN IS SUGGESTED A SUITABLE SUBJECT FOR AN IBSENITE TRAGEDY._ [Sir JAMES CRICHTON-BROWNE thinks that "the reserve and suppression of emotional movement which is observed in English people" will probably result in all the women becoming sphinxes, and all the men sticks.] "Oh! do wag your head!" said the Sphinx to the Stick. "I _can't_," he replied, "or I would, darling, quick! If you'll only indulge in a shrug and some winks, You'll perhaps set _me_ off," said the Stick to the Sphinx. "Nay, long 'inhibition,'" the Sphinx made reply, "Has imparted rigidity, love, to my eye." "'Emotional movement' no longer is mine," Sighed the Stick to the Sphinx; "though I greatly incline To a dig in your ribs, or a slap on your back (As a sign of my love), all my muscles are slack. My poor 'motor-centres' are all out of gear, And I can't even 'chuck' your soft chin, sweet, I fear. I'm sure such a stolid inflexible 'stick' you'll hate, But, though I adore you, I _cannot_ gesticulate--" "My case is as bad," sighed the Sphinx to the Stick, "For I cannot 'bridle'--no more than a brick." Said the Stick to the Sphinx, "Ah, we once knew what love meant! But, thanks to the loss of 'emotional movement,' We can't give it 'graceful and chastened expression,' And so it seems slipping fast out of possession. Heigho! we had far better die, darling, quick! Since you are a Sphinx, love, and I'm but a Stick!" * * * * * VERY LIKELY--JUST NOW.--A place to spend a Quiet Sunday--Eastbourne. * * * * * [Illustration: MR. PUNCH ON TOUR IN YORKSHIRE.] * * * * * "ON THE HYP"-NOTIST. (_FRAGMENT FROM A ROMANCE PURELY IMAGINARY AND YET TO BE WRITTEN._) The _Savants_ were gathered together to consider the question of Hypnotism. They had been appointed by a learned Association, and their Hon. Secretary had distinguished himself by writing a letter, which if eccentric in punctuation, was yet to the point. "We must not forget, Gentlemen," said one of the learned persons, "that we have been appointed to investigate the use of Hypnotism as a therapeutic agent. It will be our duty to ascertain, if it is possible, that operations can be performed under the shield of its anæsthesia." "You are indeed right," replied another, "and it is fortunate in one sense that we have not had the advantage of greeting at our board, Doctor OWEN COLEMAN of Dunedin, Surbiton." "Why so?" asked a third.