From the _Gordon Stables_ of HUTCHINSON & Co. issues the nightmare tale of _The Cruise in the Crystal Boat_; when finished, try their _Family Difficulty_, by SARAH DOUDNEY. Send to the Deanery of DEAN AND SON, ask for _Baby's Biography_ and _The Little One's Own Beehive_. The Spindleside department of the Baron's Booking-Office recommends both the above for the Tiny Trots; while the Spearside tells the boys to go in for MANVILLE FENN's _Burr Junior_ and Mrs. R. LEE's _Adventures in Australia_. Then for all-comers, procure BEATRICE HARRADEN's _New Book of Fairies_, for, our "Co." thus puts it, "This is all concerning those poor little Fairies, about whom no one takes any trouble, and who are left out in the cold at Christmas time." Thus for this week conclude the duties of Mesdames BLYTHE and GAY, the Baron's Lady Assistant Perusers. "I trust my gentle Public will benefit by their advice," quoth, Theirs truly, THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS. * * * * * "NOW YOU'RE QUITE THE GENTLEMAN!" (_A BALLAD OF BIRMINGHAM._) ["You will not find an alliance in which the weaker side has been so loyal, so straight, so single-hearted, so patriotic as the Liberal Unionists have been during the last five years.... Birmingham is the centre, the consecration of this alliance."--_Lord Salisbury at Birmingham._ "Now I neither look for nor desire reunion" (with the Gladstonian Liberals.)--_Mr. Chamberlain at Birmingham._] [Illustration] AIR--"_YE GENTLEMEN OF ENGLAND_."[1] Ye Gentlemen of England, Who follow SALIS-BU-RY, How little did you count upon Assistance from J.C.! Give ear unto his speeches old, And they will plainly show Once he'd scorn to be borne Where the Tory breezes blow, Where the Lilies and Primroses bloom, And the Tory zephyrs blow. If once he did oppose you, To-day he is at war With GLADSTONE and his Items. Faith, JOE has travelled far! The Primrose Dames shall teach him True patriot "form" to know. He is leal, and will kneel To the "Lilies" in fair row; To the pretty, winsome Primrose girls, Who buttonhole Brum JOE. Ye Gentlemen of England, Whom once he did deride, How safe ye are, and how serene, With JOSEPH on your side. He talks no more of "Ransom" ('Tis P-e-n-s-i-o-n rather now), Brum JOE will not go Where the Hawarden winds do blow; Where HARCOURT thunders loud and long, And Gladstonians blare and blow. The Orchid from his button JOE's willing to displace, To take the Primrose posy That's proffered by Her Grace. O gentle dame and dainty, What man could answer "No!" As you prest to his breast The most blessed flowers that blow, The blossoms loved by BEACONSFIELD The bravest blooms that blow?