The gaily-coloured omnibuses loom, Approach, and disappear with footsteps fleet, The crossing-sweepers blithely ply the broom, Policemen slowly pace upon their beat. We buy the blossoms with their fragrance sweet, And only on our senses sadly jar The noises of the ruffians who repeat, _Globe_, _Evening News_, _Pall Mall_, _St. James's_, _Star_! The latest aspect of the latest boom, The starting price of winners and of wheat, The thousand lives lost in a late simoom, A conflagration, or a bursting leat, How gallant gentlemen can stoop to cheat, The spicy current gossip of the Bar-- Can all be found in this or that news-sheet, _Globe_, _Evening News_, _Pall Mall_, _St. James's_, _Star_! L'ENVOI. Friend, if you wish for happiness complete, Look for it in some hamlet distant far. Forget--where catkins blow and lambkins bleat-- _Globe_, _Evening News_, _Pall Mall_, _St. James's_, _Star_! * * * * * QUEER QUERIES.--FISH-DIET.--I am writing an important historical work, which takes a great deal out of my brain, and I shall be glad to know what is the best kind of diet for nourishing the brain-cells. Fish has been strongly recommended to me. Would a herring and a half for breakfast take me through a chapter on the Norman Conquest? If a herring and a half does for WILLIAM the Conqueror, how many would be necessary for ELIZABETH? Would a whole salmon or barrel of oysters be best for tackling our early Constitutional History?--MACAULAY JUNIOR. * * * * * [Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNWRITTEN. _Proud Father_ (_reading his Son's School Report_). "MANNERS VULGAR--VERY VULGAR. BUT PERHAPS THIS IS HEREDITARY!"] * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. _House, of Commons, Monday, June 29_.--Early promise of JAMES BAIN, Knight, begins to be realised. Created profound sensation on night he took his seat, by walking about with his hat on. SPEAKER down on him with swift stern reproof. BAIN couldn't make out what all the bother was about. Seeing a friend on Bench below him, thought he would go and have a chat with him. Members seated all about had their hats on; he had cautiously mounted his without reproof, and now, when he moved three steps with his hat on, Members howled, "Order! order!" and SPEAKER joined in the cry. Six or seven Members having explained to him that though a Member may wear his hat when seated, the stability of the Constitution is imperilled if he does not uncover when he moves, albeit a step, to the right or left, the new Member passed remainder of sitting in safety. [Illustration: Barran de Leeds.]