Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, July 18, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, July 18, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
SCENE--_An Evening Party; Miss FRESIA BLUDKINSON, a talented
young Professional Reciter, has been engaged to entertain the
company, and is about to deliver the favourite piece entitled,
"The Lover of Lobelia Bangs, a Cowboy Idyl." There is the
usual crush, and the guests outside the drawing-room, who can
neither hear nor see what is going on, console themselves by
conversing in distinctly audible tones. Jammed in a doorway,
between the persons who are trying to get in, and the people
who would be only too glad to get out, is an Unsophisticated
Guest who doesn't know a soul, and is consequently reduced to
listening to the Recitation. This is what he hears:--_
[Illustration: "I am only a Cowboy."]
_Miss Fresia Blud_. (_in a tone of lady-like apology_).
I am only a Cowboy--
[_Several Ladies put up their glasses, and examine her critically, as
if they had rather expected this confession. Sudden burst of Society
Chatter from without._
_Society Chatter_. How d'ye do?... Oh, but her parties never _are_!...
How are you?... No, I left her at ... Yes, he's somewhere about ...
Saw you in the Row this mornin'.... Are you doing anything on ----?...
Oh, _what_ a shame!... No, but _doesn't_ she now?... No earthly use
trying to get in at present ... &c., &c.
_Miss Fresia B._ (_beginning again, with meek despair, a little
louder_).
I am only a Cowboy; reckless, rough, in an unconventional suit of clothes;
I hain't, as a rule, got much to say, and my conversation is mostly oaths.
[_Cries of "Ssh!" intended, however, for the people outside,
who are chattering harder than ever._
When the cackle of females strikes my ear--
_Society Chatter_ (_as before_). Oh, _much_ cooler here ... Yes,
delightful, wasn't it? Everybody one knows ... No, you don't
_really_?... Oh, POPSY's flourishing, thanks ... The new Butler turned
out a perfect demon ... but I said I wouldn't have his tail dooked
for anything ... so they've painted it _eau de Nil_, and it looks _so_
nice!
_Miss F.B._ (_pointedly_).
When the cackle of females strikes my ear, I jest vamose, for they
make me skeered,
And I sorter suspicion I skeer them too, with my hulking form, and
my bushy beard!
[_Here, of course, she strokes a very round chin._
_Society Chatter_. Seems to be somethin' goin' on in there--singin',
actin', dancin', or somethin' ... Well, of course, only heard _her_
version of it as yet, y'know ... Have you seen him in ... white
bensaline with a Medici collar, and one of those ... nasty gouty
attacks he _will_ have are only rheumatism, &c., &c.
_Miss F.B._ (_when next heard_).
I cleared my throat, and I tried to speak--but the words died
strangled--
_A Feminine Voice outside_. So _long_ since we had a quiet talk
together! Do tell me all about, &c., &c.
_Miss F.B._ --strangled by sheer alarm.
For there in front--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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