To _Mr. Punch's_ friends, who think he blundered, In thinking Eton's years were just four hundred, And acted quite in error when he paid Congratulations to King HENRY'S "shade," A word of explanation now is due, To show how what he stated then was true. The word is this--that fifty years have now Elapsed since _Mr. Punch_ first made his bow; And though since then with many friends he's parted, Himself he is as young as when he started. Just fifty years ago it now appears That fair Etona claimed four hundred years. Ungallant it had been if one had told her That _Mr. Punch_ kept young whilst she grew older! Yet if it is indeed the Fourth Centenary Or Jubilee the Ninth since holy 'ENERY Became the founder of a Royal College-- Well, _Mr. Punch_ prefers to have no knowledge. He only does not know--has never known a More worthy toast than "_Floreat Etona!_" * * * * * THE NEW CRUSADERS. ["Kaiser Wilhelm, according to a Berlin Journal, has given his consent to a lottery being instituted throughout the Empire 'for combating the slave trade in Africa.' Tickets to the amount of eight millions of marks will be issued, five and a half millions of which will be devoted to prizes."--_Daily Telegraph Berlin Correspondent_.] KNIGHTS-ERRANT of earth's earlier days, Might learn from WILHELM KAISER. They risked their lives in Paynim frays, We moderns have grown wiser. 'Tis not enough by Big Bazaars To buttress Churches tottery; We, with the dice "financing" wars, Conduct Crusades--by Lottery! * * * * * LIVE AND LEARN.--Mr. PARKINSON will now probably admit that the foolish process known as "breaking a butterfly on a wheel" may bring the breaker woe. * * * * * SHAKSPEARE AND NORTH, NOT CHRISTOPHER. [Illustration: C-l-n-l N-rth as _Falstaff_. L-rd C-l-r-dge as _Lord Chief Justice. Henry the Fourth_, Part II., Act ii., Sc.]