_Mr. B._ Oh, made more difficulties--it wasn't to be got, and so on. At last I said to him (very quietly, but he saw I was in earnest), "Now I tell you what it _is_--I'm going to _have_ that tunny, and, if you refuse to give it me,--well, I shall just send my courier _out_ for it, that's all!" So, with, _that_, they brought me some--and anything more delicious I never tasted in all my life! _Culch._ (_to himself_). If I can only keep him on at this tunny! (_Aloud._) And--er--what _does_ it taste like exactly, now? _Mr. B._ (_pregnantly_), You _order_ it, Sir--_insist_ on having it. Then you'll _know_ what it tastes like! [_He devotes himself to his soup._ _Culch._ (_with his eyes lowered--to himself_). I _must_ look up in another minute--and then! [_He shivers._ * * * * * "TYPICAL DEVELOPMENTS." One of our very occasional contributors, whose valuable time is mainly occupied by the composition of successful novels, sends us the following, written by his type-writer. From this specimen it will be gathered what a real economy in correcting letter-press a type-writer must be. [Illustration] Dear Editor I send you my new book to reed and if you likit pleaase give me a legup. The story of my other book was anti-turkish but has not yet been probited in Constanple though it has reachd its tetenth edition, at least the ninth is neraly all shrubshcribed bedfore it isrereaddy. If my pullisher is not sasfide oughtbe. Never use pen now only typwritr so much quickerin tellgible convenent an leshble Yours S SMUGGYNS It strikes us that either the machine stammers, or that it was, at the time of writing, somewhat the worse for liquor, or that it is a very truthfully phonetic-writing but somewhat indiscreet amanuensis. At the same time herewith and hereby every success to our friend SMUGGYNS'S new book. * * * * * HARD LINES FOR HIM.--When the first stone of a new theatre in Cranbourne Street was laid the other day by some Magnates of the Theatrical Profession--beg pardon, "_the_ Profession," we should have said--Mrs. BANCROFT made a telling impromptu speech, and then Mr. YARDLEY, ancient Cricketer and Modern Dramatist, was hit on the head--accidentally, of course--by the bottle which is in use on these occasions. "Very YARDLEY treated," observed Sir DRURIOLANUS, in his happiest vein. Not the first literary gent who, according to the ancient slang of the Tom-and-Jerry period, has been "cut" by ill-use of the bottle. But the unfortunate author's sorrows did not end with this sad blow, as, very soon afterwards, his dear friends the Critics, with profuse apologies for being compelled to handle him so severely, were down upon him for his new version of a French piece, entitled _The Planter_. So the logical sequence of events was, that first a blow was planted, and then appeared _The Planter_. * * * * *