Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, November 21, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, November 21, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_First Solor._ You say he can scarcely be described as a
"trapèze-practising acrobat."
_Ed._ Well, can he? Does he ever practise on the trapèze?
_First Solor._ Well, no. But he might if he liked! You see his chief
business is to stand at the base of the pyramid, at the apex of which is
his smallest and lightest Bounding Brother. But he might use the trapèze, I
repeat, if he liked.
_Ed._ If what I hear is correct--it would have to be a strong one?
_First Solor._ Certainly--an extra strong one. We don't deny that our
client weighs over twenty stone. But there, as we can accept no
explanation, will you kindly tell me the name of your Solicitor?
_Editor._ Certainly.
[_Gives the requisite information, and returns to his work, until
interrupted by_ Second Solicitor, _who has taken the place of the First._
_Second Solor._ I am afraid this interview is absolutely useless. Our
client can accept no apology. You announced that you believed that JOHN
SNOOKS had ceased to be in the employment of the Universal Cab and Fly
Company.
_Editor._ Who is John SNOOKS?
_Second Solor._ He is a driver in the service of the organisation I have
just named--and we act for the organisation. We complain that you have
seriously injured us by telling the public that you believed we had lost
the services of one of our thousand drivers.
_Editor._ But if we _did_ believe it?
_Second Solor._ That is your business and not ours; and so, Sir, we shall
be glad of the names of your Solicitors.
[_The information is afforded, and the_ Editor _returns to his work, until
interrupted by_ Third Solicitor.
_Third Solor._ Sorry to disturb you, but you have been libelling one of our
clients. He objects to your putting his Christian name in the paper--says
that even with another surname it will injure him with his neighbours. He
doesn't want his Christian name to be figuring in the public prints.
_Ed._ And what is his Christian name?
_Third Solor._ ZOZIMUS.
_Ed._ Why, that is mine! I thought I was the only man in the world with
that name, with the solitary exception of my godfather!
_Third Solor._ Very likely you are--your godfather is our client.
_Ed._ Then mustn't I print my own name?
_Third Solor._ Certainly not without running the risk of an action for
libel. The address of your Solicitors, please?
[_The_ Editor _gives the desired information, and then sends up "the
Pleasure of Editing" to the Composing Room as a line for the Contents Bill
as the Scene closes in._
* * * * *
An Elevating Exhibition.
At the Alhambra, the Little GEORGIA MAGNET ought to attract thousands.
Three heavy swells seated on a chair she can lift, chair and all, so that
the little lady's exhibition of power must have a wonderfully elevating
effect on all who come within the reach of her influence. At all events,
there can be no doubt that her magnetic force will give the Alhambra itself
a tremendous lift.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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