_Culch._ Don't tempt me! I--I mustn't listen, I cannot. No, I renounce. Be kind to PODBURY--try to recognise the good in him ... he is so devoted to you--make him happy, if you can! _Miss P._ (_affected_). I--I really can't tell you how touched I am, Mr. CULCHARD. I can guess what this renunciation must have cost you. It--it gives me a better opinion of human nature ... it does, indeed! _Culch._ (_loftily, as she rises to go in_). Ah, Miss PRENDERGAST, _don't_ lose your faith in human nature! Trust me, it is--er--full of surprises! (_Alone._) Now am I an abominable humbug, or what? I swear I felt every word I said, at the time. Curious psychological state to be in. But I'm out of what might have been a very unpleasant mess at all events! _Miss T. (coming upon him from round a corner)._ Well, I'm _sure_, Mr. CULCHARD! _Culch._ You are a young lady of naturally strong convictions, I am aware. But what are you so sure of at the present moment? _Miss T._ Well, I guess I'm not just as sure of _you_ as I should like to be, anyway. Seems to me, considering you've been so vurry inconsolable away from me, you'd a good deal to say to that young lady in the patent folders. And I'd like an explanation--you're right down splendid at explaining most things. _Culch. (with virtuous indignation)._ So you actually suspect me of having carried on a flirtation! _Miss T._ I guess girls don't use their pocket-handkerchiefs that way over the weather. Who _is_ she, anyway? _Culch. (calmly)._ If you insist on knowing, she is the lady to whom Mr. PODBURY has every prospect of being engaged. I hope your mind is at ease _now_? _Miss T._ Well, I expect my mind would have stood the strain as it was--so it's Mr. PODBURY who's her admirer? See here, you're going to introduce me to that girl right away. It's real romantic, and I'm perfectly dying to make her acquaintance! _Culch._ Hum--well. She is--er--_peculiar_, don't you know, and I rather doubt whether you will have much in common. _Miss T._ Well, if you don't introduce me, I shall introduce myself, that's all. _Culch._ By all means. (_To himself._) Not if _I_ can prevent it, though! * * * * * [Illustration: "I knock off quite a number of these while I'm abroad like this."] * * * * * [Illustration] * * * * * ONLY FANCY! We are in a position to give an emphatic contradiction to the rumour, put forward with much assurance, that the King of SPAIN has entered upon negotiations of a matrimonial character with reference to the grand-niece of the Crown Prince of ROUMANIA. No one familiar with His Majesty's views on the Triple Alliance, and his openly-expressed opinion with respect to the occupation of Egypt, could for one moment give credence to a report so intrinsically absurd. * * * * *