The different refreshment rooms (furnished by the Office of Works) would be classified according to the varying rates of Subsistence Allowance in force in the Service. Here the dinner for the £1-a-day man--there the tea for the 10s.-a-day man. Special luncheon rates for those not absent from home at night, but absent for more than ten hours. Visitors might be searched on arrival and departure by real Custom House Officers. This would be sure to make it popular. Please, dear _Mr. Punch_, do help us. Yours, &c., A GOVERNMENT CLERK. * * * * * ENGLISH OPERA AS SHE ISN'T SUNG. [Illustration: "Very sorry, my dear Sir Ivanhoe, but you're rather too heavy for this Carte. We shall get along better with a lighter weight."] It seems impossible to support a Royal English Opera House with its special commodity of English Opera, that is, Opera composed by an Englishman to an Englishman's _libretto_, and played by English operatic singers. _Ivanhoe_, a genuine English Opera, by a genuine English Composer (with an Irish name), produced with great _éclat_, has, after a fair run and lots of favour, been _Doyl-écarté_, in order to make room for the _Basoche_, an essentially French Opera, by French Composer and Librettists, done, of course, into English, so as to be "understanded of the people." The _Basoche_ has "caught on," and our friends in front, including Composer, Librettist, and Middlemen--DRURIOLANUS, who bought it, and DOYLY CARTY, who bought it of Sir DRURI--are all equally pleased and satisfied. Considered as a matter of business, what signifies the nationality as long as the spec pays?--_tout est là._ Only why retain the differentiating title of "English" for the establishment? Why not call it "The Cosmopolitan Opera House"? Of course this applies, nowadays, to Covent Garden Theatre, which is no longer the Italian Opera House, but simply the Covent Garden Opera during the Operatic Season, when French, English, Italian, and German Operas are played by a Babel of singers. By the way, while on the subject of nomenclature, why not "The Royal Babel Opera House"? * * * * * [Illustration: A LUCID INTERVAL. (_THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY._) _Doctor._ "HOW IS THE PATIENT THIS MORNING?" _Nurse._ "WELL--HE HAS BEEN WANDERING A GOOD DEAL IN HIS MIND. EARLY THIS MORNING I HEARD HIM SAY, 'WHAT AN OLD WOMAN THAT DOCTOR IS!'--AND I THINK THAT WAS ABOUT THE LAST REALLY _RATIONAL_ REMARK HE MADE."] * * * * * THE LITTLE GERMANIA MAGNATE; OR, TRYING TO SWAY THE SCEPTRE. ["_Suprema lex regis voluntas._" Words reported to have been written by the German Emperor in the Visitors' Book of the City Council at Munich.]