Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, November 7, 1891 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, November 7, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, November 7, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Miss T._ I guess it's more like skipping, CHARLEY. But so long as
you're having a good time! And here's Mr. CULCHARD will fix you up
some sonnets for headings to the chapters. You needn't begin _right_
away, Mr. CULCHARD; I guess there's no hurry. But we get talking and
_talking_, and never look at anything. I don't call it encouraging the
scenery, and that's a fact!
_Mr. T._ (_later, to CULCHARD_). And you're pretty comfortable at your
hotel? Well, I dunno, after all, what there is to keep _us_ here. I
guess we'll go down again and stop at Lugano, eh, MAUD?
[_CULCHARD eagerly awaits her reply._
_Miss T._ I declare! After bringing all my trunks way up here! But
I'd just as soon move down as not; they're not unpacked any. (_Joy of
C._) Seems a pity, too, after engaging rooms here. And they looked real
nice. Mr. CULCHARD, don't you and Mr. PODBURY want to come up here and
take them? They've a perfectly splendid view, and then we could have
yours, you know! (_C. cannot conceal his chagrin at this suggestion._)
Well, see here, Poppa, we'll go along and try if we can't square the
hotel-clerk and get our baggage on the cars again, and then we'll see
just how we feel about it. I'm perfectly indifferent either way.
_Culch._ (_to himself, as he follows_). Can she be really as
indifferent as she seems? I'm afraid she has very little heart! But
if only she can be induced to go back to Lugano ... She will be at
the same hotel--a great point! I wish that fellow VAN BOODELER wasn't
coming too, though ... Not that they've settled to come at all yet!...
Still, I fancy she likes the idea ... She'll come--if I don't appear
too anxious about it! [_He walks on, trying to whistle carelessly._
* * * * *
WAR IN A FOG.
(_A RECORD OF THE NEXT CAMPAIGN OF THE COMING MOLTKE._)
Our Army was now advancing in good order. We had the "A" Division
of the enemy on our right, and the "B" Division on our left, but of
course we had lost sight of Division "C." It was the morning after we
had taken the fortress that had unexpectedly appeared before us on our
right front, and had found ourselves to our surprise by the side of a
river. The Chief of my Staff entered my tent whilst I was engaged in
studying a map not very successfully.
[Illustration]
"General," said he, "military music can be heard in the distance, from
which I take it it must be the other part of our Army." "This is most
fortunate," I replied; "but are they supposed to be in this part of
the country? I fancied they were besieging the enemy's metropolis.
"So it was reported," returned my subordinate; "but it appears that,
taking the first turning to the right, instead of the second to the
left, they lost their way, and instead of capturing the capital,
surrounded a harbour, in which, to their astonishment, they found his
fleet."
"I suppose that the movements of Division 'C' are shrouded in
mystery?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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