Say, boys, whatever do men mean When they wink the other eye? Why, when "sharps" say the world is "green," Do they wink the other eye? The Radicals and Tories both tell stories, not a few, About Measures falsely promised, and reforms long overdue; And when the simple Mob believes that every word is true. Then they--wink the other eye! _Chorus_.--Say, boys, now is it quite the thing! Say, should we let them have their fling? Ah, when they get us "on a string" Then they wink the other eye! Say, boys are Leaders to be loved, When they wink the other eye? By artful speech the Mob is moved, Till _it_ winks the other eye; The optic Wink's the language of the sly and sordid soul, The mute freemasonry of Fraud, sign-post to Roguery's goal. When Circe sees her votaries swine ready in sludge to roll Then _she_ winks the other eye! _Chorus_.--Say, boys, _is_ it so fine a thing, Low Cunning, which Cheat's laureates sing, The Comus of the Mart and Ring, Who--winks the other eye? Say, boys, is Cunning's promise good, When she winks the other eye? Noodledom seeks her neighbourhood, And winks _its_ other eye. For no one winks so freely as a fool who _thinks_ he's sly; The dupe of deeper knavery smirks in shallow mimicry Of the smirking JERRY DIDDLER who is sucking him so dry, And who winks the other eye. _Chorus_.--Say, boys, now is the Wink a thing Worthy of worship; will you fling Your caps in air for the Knave-King Who--winks the other eye? The Politician plucks his geese, Then he winks the other eye. Brazen Fraud steals Trade's Golden Fleece, Then he winks the other eye. _Autolycus_ pipes ballads; public pockets are his aim; _Rabagas_ raves of "liberty"; advancement is his game; And when their dupes aren't looking all these rogues do just the same, They--wink the other eye! _Chorus_.--Say, boys, pæans will you sing To winking harpies all a-wing To prey on fools; who steal, and sting, And--wink the other eye? Wisdom may smile, but Cunning can't, She winks the other eye. Humour shall chortle, Mockery shan't, She winks the other eye. The stars above us twinkle and the dews beneath us blink, All the eyes of Nature sparkle, and from merriment do not shrink, The Language of the Eye of Cynic Knavery is--the Wink! _Roguery_ "winks the other eye!" _Chorus_.--Say, boys, is it quite the thing? "Ducdàme"[1] to fools the Diddlers sing; Trust me 'tis Rascals in a Ring Who wink the other eye! [Footnote 1: _Amiens_. What's that "ducdàme"? _Jaques_. 'Tis a Greek invocation to call fools into a circle. "_As You Like It_," _Act II., Sc. 5._] * * * * * THE EVOLUTION OF TOMMY'S PRIVATE-SCHOOL REPORT. 1. _A rough draught, written by the under-master, who certainly has had rather a trying week with_ TOMMY.