Well, this did the business at once; and the two Winds, in a breath, began to relate whence they came, and what they had been doing for nearly three months past. "We have been spoiling the English Summer," they said. "_That's_ nothing new," muttered the Mother of the Winds. "_Isn't_ it, though--in the way _we've_ done it?" cried the two, triumphantly. "Why, those two Boys over yonder, uniting their flatulent forces, could not have done better--or worse. Ho! ho! ho! _They_ made last winter a frozen Sahara. _We've_ made the present summer a squashy Swamp! The winter was as dry as the dust of RAMESES. The summer has been as wet as old St. Swithin's gingham. We soaked June, we drenched July, and we drowned August. We squelched the strawberry season, reducing tons of promising fruit to flavourless pulp, and the growers to damp despair. Whooosh!! What a wetting we gave 'em!!! As soon as the Cricket Season started, so did _we_! Didn't we just? We simply sopped all the wickets, and spoilt all the matches, either keeping the cricketers waiting in the pavilion or slipping about on sloppy slithery turf. Consequently, the Cricketing Season has been a sickening sell. We 'watered down' the 'averages' of all the 'cracks.' S.W. was too many for W.G. (GRACE, of Gloucester), and W.W. gave the _other_ W.W. (READ, of Surrey) a fair doing! We followed 'The Leviathan' in particular about persistently, till he must be real glad to 'take his hook' to Australia. Wherever _he_ was playing, from Kennington to Clifton, we combined our forces, swooped down on him, and simply washed him out!" "Wanton wags!" said the Mother of the Winds, reproachfully. "Ra-_ther_," yelled her promising offspring in chorus. "But that's not all, _is_ it, S.W.?--_is_ it W.W.? We mucked up Lawn Tennis, soaked Henley Regatta, nearly spoilt the German EMPEROR's visit, ruined all the _al fresco_ functions of the Season--slap!--flooded Society out of London, only to deluge them in their flitting till they wished they were back again, intensified the Influenza Epidemic, and--" "Oh! stop, stop!" moaned the Old Woman. "Those Boys yonder will burst--with jealousy. But what have you been doing to the Princess AGRICULTURA here?" The two broke into a spasmodic duo of delight and disdain. "Why _look_ at her?" they cried. "Doesn't she speak for herself?"