Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, September 12, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, September 12, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Podb._ Oh, yes, I see _that_. But then I'm _not_, don't you know--so
there we are!
_Culch._ (_desperately_). Well, I'll--I'll meet you half-way. I've no
objection to--er--titting up with you--Nuremberg or Constance. Come?
_Podb._ You weren't so anxious to tit up just now--but never mind.
(_Producing a mark_.) Now then, Emperor--Constance. Eagle--Nuremberg.
Is it sudden death, or best out of three? [_He tosses._
_Culch._ Sud--(_The coin falls with the Emperor uppermost._) Best out
of three.
[_He takes coin from PODBURY and tosses._
_Podb._ Eagle! we're even so far. (_He receives coin._) This settles
it. [_He tosses._
_Culch._ Eagle again! Now mind, PODBURY, no going back after _this._
It must _be_ Nuremberg now.
_Podb._ All right! And now allow me to have the pleasure of restoring
your pocket-book and note-case. They did fall out on the Niederwald,
and it was a good job for you I was behind and saw them drop. You
must really be more careful, dear boy. Ain't you going to say "ta" for
them?
_Culch._ (_relieved_). I'm--er--tremendously obliged. I really can't
say how.--(_Recollecting himself_.) But you need not have taken
advantage of it to try to do me out of going to Nuremberg--it was a
shabby trick!
_Podb._ Oh, it was only to get a rise out of you. I never meant to
keep you to it, of course. And I say, weren't you sold, though? Didn't
I lead up to it beautifully? (_He chuckles._) Score to me, eh!
_Culch._ (_with amiable sententiousness_). Ah, well, I don't grudge
you your little joke if it amuses you. Those laugh best who laugh
last. And it's settled now that we're going to Nuremberg.
[_Miss TROTTER and her father have come out from the
Speisesaal doors, and overhear the last speech._
_Mr. Trotter_ (_to Culchard_). Your friend been gettin' off a joke on
you, Sir?
_Culch._ Only in his own estimation, Mr. TROTTER. I have nailed him
down to going to Nuremberg, which, for many reasons, I was extremely
anxious to visit. (_Carelessly._) Are we likely to be there when you
are?
_Miss T._ I guess not. We've just got our mail, and my cousin,
CHARLEY VAN BOODELER, writes he's having a real lovely time in the
Engadine--says it's the most elegant locality he's struck yet, and
just as full of Amurrcans as it can hold; so we're going to start out
there right away. I don't believe we shall have time for Nuremberg
this trip. Father, if we're going to see about checking the baggage
through, we'd better go down to the _dépôt_ right now. [_They pass
on._
_Culch._ (_with a very blank face and a feeble whistle_).
Few-fitty-fitty-fitty-fa-di-fee-fee-foo; few--After all, PODBURY, I
don't know that I care so much about Nuremberg. They--they say it's a
good deal changed from what it was.
_Podb._ So are _you_, old chap, if it comes to that.
Tiddledy-iddlety-ido-lumpty-doodle-oo! Is it to be Constance after
all, then?
_Culch._ (_reddening_). Er--I rather thought of the Engadine--more
_bracing_, eh?--few-feedle-eedle-oodle--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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