Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, September 19, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, September 19, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Take this, for instance, as a typical day for an invalid. It is hardly
the sort of place to "pick up" in; at least, so it strikes me.
9 A.M.--Am disturbed after a windy night, which has threatened, to
blow the front of the house (one of the twenty-four commanding a fine
sea-view "both ways") off, and in my first and only turn of refreshing
sweet sleep, by the Silvery-voiced Tenor, who persists, spite
entreaties, requests, and finally threats, to move a little further
away, or curtail a singularly florid version of "_Fra Poco_" under
eighteen-pence. On, at length, threatening to send for the police
if he declines to desist, he meets the announcement with shouts of
derisive laughter, a fact which, Mrs. COBBLES, my landlady, is kind
enough to explain, indicates that "The Policeman," not retiring till
half-past one that morning, he will not be available, even for a
murder, before two o'clock in the afternoon. I compromise the matter,
therefore, by sending out sixpence to the Silvery-voiced Tenor,
begging Mrs. COBBLES to give as heartrending a description as possible
of my exhausted condition, which has the effect of wringing from the
MARIO of Torsington an expression of sympathy, and an intimation that
he will finish "_Fra Poco_" round the corner.
[Illustration]
But ill news travels apace, and within ten minutes the discarded
Christy Minstrel with the concertina that is somewhat out of order,
and the Town Band (reduced to three), as if by common consent,
together with the man in black velvet spangled tights, a short
walking-stick, wash-hand basin, and small square of carpet, draw up,
as if by magic, before Mrs. COBBLES' lodgings, and with the un-earning
increment of Torsington-on-Sea as audience, commence a simultaneous
_matinée_ for my special benefit at twenty-five minutes and a half to
ten.
Mrs. COBBLES' assurance that the poor gentleman has "not closed his
eyes all night" seems only to stimulate them to further effort. As
I feel that even twenty minutes of this recreation will certainly
drive me mad, I beg Mrs. COBBLES to send the boy who comes to clean
the boots and knives to disturb the One Policeman in his first sweet
slumber. If nothing else will stir him, he is to be. informed that No.
34 on the Esplanade is on fire, or if that fails, he may throw in 33
and 35 as well. In fact, he need not be particular as to facts, but
_return with the Policeman he must!_ There is a good-sized crowd
assembled on the Esplanade, but as I am attired in a scarlet flannel
dressing-gown, white nightcap, and am arguing the Act of Parliament
with the deserted Christy Minstrel with some warmth, it may account
for it.
* * * * *
THE KING OF THE BEASTS.
_A ZOOLOGICAL ELEGY._
[CHARLES JAMRACH, the celebrated naturalist and
menagerie-keeper, of St. George's-in-the-East, died on
September 6, at the age of 76.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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