Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, September 19, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, September 19, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Podb._ What if she is, she don't understand a word we're saying. I
want to hear all about Her, you know.
_Culch._ My dear PODBURY, we shall have ample time to talk about her
while we are at Nuremberg together--it will be the greatest pleasure
to me to do so as long as ever you please.
_Podb._ Thanks, old chap! I'd no idea you were doing all this, you
know. But just tell me this, what did she _say_ about me?
_Culch._ (_mystified_). About you? I really don't recollect that she
mentioned _you_ particularly.
_Podb._ (_puzzled_). But I thought you said you'd been speaking up for
me! What _did_ you talk about then?
_Culch._ Well, about myself--naturally. [_He settles his collar with a
vague satisfaction._
_Podb._ (_blankly_). Oh! Then you haven't been arranging to meet her
again on _my_ account?
_Culch._ Good Heavens, no--what a very grotesque idea of yours, my
dear fellow! [_He laughs gently._
_Podb._ Is it? You always gave out that she wasn't your style at all,
and you only regarded her as a "study," and rot like that. How could
_I_ tell you would go and cut me out?
_Culch._ I don't deny that she occasionally--er--jarred. She is a
little deficient in surface refinement--but that will come, that will
come. And as to "cutting you out," why, you must allow you never had
the remotest--
_Podb._ I don't allow anything of the sort. She liked me well enough
till--till you came in and set her against me, and you may think it
friendly if you like, but I call it shabby--confoundedly shabby.
_Culch._ Don't talk so loud, I'm sure I saw that woman smile!
_Podb._ She may smile her head off for all I care. (_The train stops;
the Cripple and all but the Pale-haired Lady get out_.) Here we are
at Nuremberg. What hotel did you say you are going to?
_Culch._ The Bayrischer-Hof. Why?
[_He gets his coat and sticks, &c., out of the rack._
_Podb._ Because I shall go to some other, that's all.
_Culch._ (_in dismay_). My dear PODBURY. this is really too childish!
There's no sense in travelling together, if we're going to stay at
different hotels!
_Podb._ I'm not sure I shall go any further. Anyway, while I _am_
here, I prefer to keep to myself.
_Culch._ (_with a displeased laugh_). Just as you please. It's a
matter of perfect indifference to _me_. I'm afraid you'll be terribly
bored by yourself, though.
_Podb._ That's _my_ look out. It can't be worse than going about with
you and listening while you crow and drivel about her, that's one
comfort! [_The Pale-haired Lady coughs in a suspicious manner_.
_Culch._ You don't even know if there _is_ another hotel.
_Podb._ I don't care. I can find a pot-house somewhere, I daresay.
_The Pale-haired Lady_ (_in excellent English, to PODBURY as he
passes out_). Pardon me, you will find close to the Bahnhof a very
goot hotel--the Wurtemburger.
[_PODBURY thanks her and alights in some confusion; the
Lady sinks back, smiling_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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