Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which includes the original illustrations. See 14046-h.htm or 14046-h.zip: (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/4/0/4/14046/14046-h/14046-h.htm) or (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/4/0/4/14046/14046-h.zip) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOL. 101 SEPTEMBER 26, 1891 THE WAITERS' STRIKE. (_AT THE NAVAL EXHIBITION._) [Illustration] The German Waiter waxeth fat; he grows exceeding proud; He is a shade more kicksome than can fairly be allowed. The British Press goes out to dine--the Teuton, they relate, Throws down his napkin like a gage, and swears he will not wait. Now there are many proverbs--some are good and some are not-- But the Teuton was misled who cried, "Strike while the _entrée_'s hot!" Like readers with no book-marks, all the rebels lost their place, And vanished out of Chelsea in their dress-suits and disgrace. And I'm told that there were murmurings and curses deep and low In darksome public-houses in the road of Pimlico, And a general impression that it was not safe to cross The temper of that caterer, Mr. MACKENZIE ROSS. O Waiter, German Waiter! there are many other lands Where you can take your creaking boots and eke your dirty hands; And we think you'll have discovered, ere you reach your next address, That in England German Waiters aren't the Censors of the Press. * * * * * MARLOWE AT CANTERBURY. "Keep up the Christopher!" a recommendation adapted _urbi et orbi_ which, quoting _Mr. Puff_, our HENRY when speaking at Canterbury ought to have given after the unveiling of KIT MARLOWE's statue. We hope that the unveiling address will not prove unavailing, and that the necessary funds may soon be forthcoming for the completion of the work. For the present all that has been effected by the ceremony is to have given the _Times_ and _Telegraph_ opportunities for interesting leading articles at a very dull season when material is scarce; also it has given the author of _Tom Cobb_ and other remarkable plays a chance of writing to the _Times_; and finally it has broken in upon the well-earned holiday of the indefatigable and good-natured HENRY. But there was one question not put by our HENRY. It ought to have arisen out of the record of MARLOWE's interment, but didn't. "The burial register of St. Nicholas, Deptford," said the _Times_ of September 16, "contains the entry, 'CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE, slain by FRANCIS ARCHER, June 1, 1593.'" The entry maybe taken as veracious, although made by "a clerk of St. Nicholas." [MARLOWE was a dramatist; was ARCHER a dramatic critic?] * * * * * TWO WORDS IN SEASON. (_HUMBLY DEDICATED TO THOSE EMINENT CONTROVERSIALISTS, LORD GRIMTHORPE AND MR. TALLACK._) NO. I.