Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, September 26, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, September 26, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
[Illustration: The Porcelain Vase in question.]
["A valuable porcelain vase having been stolen from Versailles
Palace, a band of English tourists who were visiting the place
have been searched by the police; but nothing was found upon
them, and they have been liberated."--_St. James's Gazette,
Sept_. 17.]
* * * * *
HOLIDAY FARE IN CORNWALL.
A roll on the billow,
A Loaf by the shore,
A Fig for fashion,
And Cream galore!
* * * * *
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?"
Mr. AUGUSTIN DALY says, "I have never found, as CHATTERTON did, that
SHAKSPEARE spelt Ruin." Perhaps he has been more inclined to think
that SHAKSPEARE spelt REHAN, eh?
* * * * *
[Illustration: TRULY CONSCIENTIOUS.
_Toyshopman_. "BEG PARDON, MISS, BUT HERE'S YOUR CHANGE, WHICH YOU'D
FORGOTTEN--ONE-AND-NINEPENCE!"
_Little Maid_. "OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! BUT WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE
MONEY FROM ANYBODY BUT GRANDPAPA!"]
* * * * *
TURNING THE TABLES;
OR, THE BEAR AS LEADER.
["The French believed so implicitly in Russian friendship,
even when there was nothing whatever to indicate its
existence, that they may be excused for rating at more than
they are worth expressions of goodwill, which, after all, are
as ambiguous as they are tardy.... The success of a Russian
Loan is not dearly purchased by a little effusion, which,
after all, commits Russia to nothing. French sentiment
is always worth cultivating in that way, because, unlike
the British variety, it has a distinct influence upon
investments."--_Daily Paper_.]
"But just fancy the confusion
When a bear has burst his fetters!"
HEINE's _Atta Troll_.
AIR--"_BLOUDIE JACKE_."
Oh! why does your eye gleam so bright?
Russian Bear?
Oh! why does your eye gleam so bright?
You've broken your fetters. Like some of your betters,
Your freedom moves some with affright.
All right?
Well, _that_'s reassuring,--oh! _quite_!
Yes, your optic gleams piggishly bright,
Russian Bear;
It gleams with true ursine delight.
'Tis done--France is won, And 'tis capital fun
To hold it in shackles, which, slight--
Ho! ho!--
Yet fit so remarkably tight.
The chains may feel light as a thread,
Russian Bear!
As light and as slight as a thread;
But though light be the chain. Will his might and his main
Again rend it in twain? Fear is fled!
Quite fled!
And old animosity dead.
Haw! haw!
Nay, laugh not I pray you so loud,
Russian Bear!
Oh! laugh not so loud and so clear!
Though sly is your smile The heart to beguile,
Bruin's chuckle is horrid to hear,
O dear!
And makes quidnuncs quake and feel queer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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