_First P.P._ (_sympathetically_). Well, I _do_ think WHISTLER might have _told_ him of it! IN THE SECOND ROOM. _The Matron in Search of a Subject._ Ah, now, this really is more _my_ idea of a picture. Quite a pretty _crétonne_ those curtains, and there's a little girl reading a book, and a looking-glass with reflections and all, and a young lady in a riding-habit--just going out for a ride. _Caroline._ Yes. Mother. Or just come in from one. _Her Mother._ Do see what it's called. "_The Morning Canter_" or "_Back from the Row_"--something of that kind, I _expect_ it would be. _Caroline._ All it says is, "_A Harmony in Green and Rose_." _The Mother_ (_disappointed_). Now, why can't he give it some _sensible_ name, instead of taking away all one's interest! _The Phil. Uncle_ (_whom a succession of Symphonies and Harmonies has irritated to the verge of fury_). Don't talk to me, Sir! Don't tell me any of these things are pictures. Look at _this_--a young woman in an outlandish dress sitting on the floor--on the bare floor!--in a litter of Japanese sketches! And he has the confounded impertinence to call it a "_Caprice_"--a "_Caprice in Purple and Gold_." _I_'d purple and gold him, Sir, if I had _my_ way! Where's the _sense_ in such things? What do they _teach_ you? What _story_ do they tell? Where's the _human interest_ in them? Depend upon it, Sir, these things are rubbish--sheer rubbish, according to all _my_ notions of Art, and I think you'll allow I _ought_ to know something about it? _His Nephew_ (_provoked beyond prudence_). You certainly ought to know more than _that_, my dear Unc--Are you going? _The Uncle_ (_grimly_). Yes--to see my Solicitor, Sir. (_To himself, savagely._) That confounded young prig will find he's paid dear enough for his precious Whistlers--if I don't have a fit in the cab! [_He goes; the Nephew wonders whether his attempt at proselytising was quite worth while._ _A Seriously Elderly Lady._ I've no _patience_ with the man. Look at GUTSTAVE DORÉ, now. I'm sure _he_ was a beautiful artist, if you _like_. Did _he_ go and call his "_Leaving the Prætorium_" a "Symphony" or a "Harmony," or any nonsense of that kind? Of course not--and yet look at the _difference_! _An Impressionable Person_ (_carried away by the local influence--to the Man at the wicket, blandly_). Could you kindly oblige me by exchanging this "Note in Black and White" for an "Arrangement in Silver and Gold"? [_Finds himself cruelly misunderstood, and suspected of frivolity._ * * * * * PERSONAL PARAGRAPHS.