"Chocolate, one-and-six. ALGERNON has written to me, asking me to see him again for the last time. I have written back that my decision is unalterable. It breaks my heart to have to be so cruel--but fate wills it, and it's no good fighting against Mamma. Sent my grey to be cleaned--but it won't look anything when it's done." In another entry I found the following:-- "A dear long letter from EGBERT. How perfect his sympathy is! Not feeling very well to-day--will always refuse _vol-au-vent_ in future." I need hardly say that a girl who would chronicle the state of her digestion and the sympathy of her lover in one paragraph could not possibly have any soul. The perfect Diary is something of a paradox. It should be composed chiefly of what is unpublishable--of one's secrets and sentiments--but it should always be written as if with a view to publication. In your Diary you can say things about yourself which it would be conceited to say openly, and you can say things about your friends which it would be unkind to say openly; you can make your own pose seem more real to yourself. So, my dear young girls, take my advice, and commence Diaries. And remember I shall be very glad to answer any questions on the subject. * * * * * JOKIM'S LATEST LITTLE JOKE. (_BY A MANY TIMES DISAPPOINTED INCOME-TAX PAYER._) It is out at last, but it falls very flat; Such a very big "bag," such a very small "cat"! Popularity Budget? It can't be called _that_! The Budget that was to have been such "good biz," And have caused the Election to go with a "whizz," Fizzles out in--reducing the duty on Fizz! Ah, JOKIM, my joker, you've hardly the knack Of holding the Bag, so we'll give you "_the Sack_!" * * * * * "MEET IT IS I SET IT DOWN."--"Mr. J. McN. WHISTLER," it was remarked by one of his visitors on the closing day of his recent Exhibition, "has in his Catalogue put down all unfavourable criticisms." How, in this respect, would all of us like to imitate the Eccentric Knight of the Order of the Butterfly, and put down all adverse criticism. * * * * * NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.