The correspondence that I have received has not been altogether pleasant. I have had one letter from ETHEL (aged thirteen) saying that she thinks me a mean sneak for prying into other people's Diaries. I can only reply that I was acting for the public good. I have had a sweet letter, however, from "AZALEA." She has been absolutely compelled, by force of circumstances, to allow the distinct attentions of three different men. She does not give the names of the men, only descriptions, but I should advise her to keep the dark one. She can see the will at Somerset House. "JANE" writes to ask what is the best cure for freckles. I do not answer questions of that kind. I have replied to my other correspondents privately. * * * * * REPULSING THE AMAZONS. (_SEE CARTOON, "ARMING THE AMAZONS," DEC. 5, 1891._) [Illustration] Arming the Amazons against the Greeks? That PRIAM SALISBURY tried some few short weeks Before the present fray. FAWCETTA fair Had prayed; the question then seemed "in the air," And PRIAM proffered then the Franchise-spear, (A shadowy one, that gave no grounds for fear,) To poor PENTHESILEA. Now, ah, now ROLLITTUS moves, there's going to be a row, And lo! the mingled ranks of Greece and Troy Close 'gainst the Amazons. Her steed, a toy, A hobby-horse, that any maid may mount, Is not--just now--of any great account. Her phantom spear will pierce no stout male mail; But should ROLLITTUS _not_--(confound him!)--fail, A female host, well armed, and _not_ on hobbies, Might prove as dangerous as a batch of Bobbies. The fair FAWCETTA then must be thrown over; PENTHESILEA finds no hero-lover In either host. PRIAM, abroad, is dumb. Ah, maiden-hosts, man's love for you's a hum. Each fears you--in the foeman's cohorts thrown, But _neither side desires you in its own!_ The false GLADSTONIUS first, he whom you nourish, A snake in your spare bosoms, dares to flourish Fresh arms against you; potent, though polite, He fain would bow you out of the big fight, Civilly shelve you. "Don't kick up a row, And--spoil my game! Another day, not now, There's a _dear_ creature!" CHAMBERLAINIUS, too, Hard as a nail, and squirmy as a screw, Sides with the elder hero, just for once; CHAPLINIUS also, active for the nonce On the Greek side, makes up the Traitrous Three, One from each faction! Ah! 'tis sad to see PENTHESILEA, fierce male foes unite In keeping female warriors from the fight; Yet think, look round, and--you _may_ find they're right! * * * * * NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.