purse a bath! (_The_ Simple Spectator _feels in his pockets--evidently for a half-crown_.) 'Ere, _you_ look more intelligent than the rest--I'll try yer jest this once. Jest to show yer don't know me, and--(_Shouts of "They're off! They're coming!" from the bank; the_ Purse-seller's _audience suddenly melts away, leaving him alone with the_ Seedy Slinker.) 'Ere, JIM, we may as well turn it up. 'Ere come them blanky boats! _A Juvenile Plunger_ (_with rather a complicated book on the event_). If Oxford wins, I've got ter git a penny out of 'im, and if Kimebridge wins, you've got ter git a penny outer _me_! _Crowd_ (_as the Crews flash by_). Go it, Oxford! Ox--ford! No, Kimebridge! Well rowed, Kimebridge!... Oxford wins! No, it don't. _I'll_ lay it don't! Splendid rycin'. Which on 'em was Oxford? The inside one. No, it worn't-- they was _outside_. Well, Oxford was _leadin_', anyway!... There, _that's_ all over till next year! Not much to come out for, either--on'y just see 'em for a second or so. Oh, _I_ come out for the lark of it, _I_ do.... There goes the pidgins orf.... We shan't be long knowin' now.... 'Ere's the Press Boat comin' back.... There, wot did I _tell_ yer, now? Well, they didn't orter ha' won. that's all--the others was the best crew.... 'Ere they are, all together on the launch, d'ye see? Seem friendly enough, too, considerin', torkin' to each other and all. Lor, they wouldn't bear no malice now it's over! [_Crowd disperse, and patronise_ "_Popsy Wopsy_," _the Roulette_, _Ole Billy Fairplay_, _&c._, _&c._, _with renewed zest._ * * * * * Mrs. RAMSBOTHAM is staying with her niece in the country. She is much delighted with the rich colour of the spring bulbs, and says she at last understands the meaning of "as rich as Crocus." * * * * * WILLIAM THE WHALER, AND HIS GREAT LONE WHALING EXPEDITION. MODERN IMPERIAL GERMAN VERSION. (BY BIZZY THE PILOT.) ["The arrangements for the German Emperor's Whale-hunting excursion have been made."--_The Times._] [Illustration] 'Twas arter he'd got rid o' Me, Brave boys. When Will-I-AM he did sa-a-a-ail, In a bit of a boat Which would scarcely float, And he went for to catch a Whale, Brave boys! All alone for to catch a Whale. His Sire and his Grandsire trusted Me, Brave boys! Who was never known for to fa-a-a-il; But _he_ thought he knew More than Cap'en _and_ crew, In the matter o' catching a Whale, Brave boys! In the matter o' catching a Whale. He'd inwented a new harpoon, Brave boys As was shaped on a whoppingish sca-a-a-le And he thought with delight, (The "magnanimous" mite!) He was _going_ to catch that Whale, Brave boys! He made cocksure o' catching that Whale!