CUPID'S TENNIS-COURTS.--Under the heading "Tennis in the Riviera," the _Daily Telegraph_ recently gave us some important news, which should largely influence the Matrimonial Market. The names of Ladies and Gentlemen, both "singles" (a not strictly grammatical plural, by the way, but what's grammar in a game of Thirty to Love?) were given. There was, however, no mention of "ties" or of matches to come. * * * * * A CORRESPONDENT SIGNING HIMSELF "MINCING LANE" WRITES,--"Sir,--The _Saturday Review_ complained of Mr. TREE's gait as _Hamlet_, 'which,' said the Critic, 'reminds one too much of AGAG.' Most cutting comparison for an actor sticking rigidly to the Shakspearian text! If there were interpolations in the text of Mr. BEERBOHM TREE's own introduction, then indeed he might remind them of _A-gag_; that is, if he were continually a-gagging.--M.L." * * * * * NEW BOOK.--Soon may be expected, _A Guide to the Unknown Tongs_, by the Author of _A Handbook to Poker_. * * * * * [Illustration: THE PARLIAMENTARY SAFETY BICYCLE CHAMPIONSHIP--THE LAST LAP.] * * * * * [Illustration: FICTION--PRESENT STYLE. _Gertrude._ "YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING NOW, MARGARET, BUT GO TO ALL SORTS OF CHURCHES, AND READ THOSE OLD BOOKS OF THEOLOGY. YOU NEVER USED TO BE LIKE THAT." _Margaret._ "HOW CAN I HELP IT, GERTY?--I'M WRITING A POPULAR NOVEL!"] * * * * * TAKE CARE! A SONG OF CONVALESCENCE AFTER INFLUENZA. _BY AN IMPATIENT PATIENT._ AIR--"_Beware!_" "I feel as well as well can be!"-- _Take care!_ La Grippe's deceptive dontcher see, Beware! Beware! Trust it not, 'Twill be fooling thee; It's just three weeks since I was "down!"-- _Take care!_ "I'm wanted very much in town." Beware! Beware! Run no risk, 'Tis humbugging thee! "_I_ feel all right,--as well as you!"-- _Take care!_ What feeling tells you is not true! Beware! Beware! Pneumonia waits To be nipping thee! "You Doctors are such funny chaps!"-- _Take care!_ We know the dangers of Relapse. Beware! Beware! Flout me not, _I'm_ not fooling thee! "Too long you pillow us and pill us!"-- _Take care!_ You don't half know that blarmed bacillus. Beware! Beware! Brave it not, 'Twill be flooring thee! "The fever's gone, the aches seem vanished." _Take care!_ They come back when you think 'em banished. Beware! Beware! Trust 'em not, They'll be dodging thee! "Oh, come, I say, look here, you know!"-- _Take care!_ Your pulse is yet two beats too slow. Beware! Beware! Trifle not, Sense is schooling thee!