Who's to blame for Dirt? Yer washups, praps it ain't for me to say, But--I don't think there'd be much of it if 'twasn't made to _pay_! _Who_ does it pay? The Renters or the Rented? I've no doubt When you spot _who_ cops the Slum-swag--wy, yer won't be so fur out! [Footnote 1: _Landlordism_, by HENRY LAZARUS.] * * * * * WRIGHT AND WRONG. "We are getting on by leaps and bounds," remarked Mr. WILDEY WEIGHT, during a recent case. Whereat there was "laughter." But Mr. HORACE BROWNE, for Plaintiff, "objected to remarks of this kind." Then Mr. Justice COLLINS begged Mr. W. WRIGHT "not to make such picturesque interjections." Later on, Mr. HORACE BROWNE said to a Witness (whose name, "BURBAGE," ought to have elicited from Judge or Counsel some apposite Shakspearian allusion--but it didn't), "Then you had him on toast." This also was received with "laughter." But Mr. WILDEY WRIGHT did not object to this. No! he let it pass without interruption, implying by his eloquent silence that such a remark was neither a "picturesque interjection," nor sufficiently humorous for him to take objection to it. The other day, in a County Court, a Barrister refused to go on with a case until the Judge had done smiling! But--"This is another story." * * * * * GOOD GRACE-IOUS! Two out of three, my GRACE! That sounds a drubber. No chance for England now to "win the rubber." We deemed you romping in, that second Cable; But your team didn't. Fact is, 'twasn't ABEL (Though ABEL in himself was quite a team). Well, well, your SHEFFIELD blades met quite the cream Of Cornstalk Cricketers. Cheer up, cut in! And when March comes, make that Third Match a Win! We're sure that while you hold the Captain's place, Your men will win or lose with a good GRACE! * * * * * SUGGESTED TITLE FOR AN ACCOUNT OF A GORGEOUS BALLET OF UGLY GIRLS.--The Story of the Glittering Plain. * * * * * [Illustration: "STRAY SHEEP." (_As illustrated by Mr. Chamberlain in his Speech in the House on Thursday, February 11._) "THOSE SHEEP WHO NEVER HEARD THEIR SHEPHERD'S VOICE; WHO DID NOT KNOW, YET WOULD NOT LEARN THEIR WAY; WHO STRAYED THEMSELVES, YET GRIEVED THAT I SHOULD STRAY."] * * * * * [Illustration: PERFECTLY PLAIN. _Young Wife._ "OH, I'M SO HAPPY! HOW IS IT YOU'VE NEVER MARRIED, MISS PRYMME?" _Miss Prymme._ "MY DEAR, I NEVER HAVE ACCEPTED--AND NEVER WOULD ACCEPT--ANY OFFER OF MARRIAGE!" [_And then her Questioner began softly playing the old Air, "Nobody axed you."_]] * * * * * THE TWO SHEPHERDS.