_Mr. F._ A fly? Not for the world!--but this is only a boy. I want to know what they're here _for_. Now, my lad, you're not engaged to be _idle_, you know. Just think of the amount of innocent pleasure you would afford by getting into this spiked cradle and letting me rock you. You won't? Well, will you sit on the Spanish Donkey? come! I'll give you a leg up and fasten the weights on your legs for you. You aren't afraid of a donkey? [_Bystanders collect in hope of amusement._ _The Boy_ (_sulkily_). Not of _some_ Donkeys, Sir, as ain't quite so sharp as that one, whatever they think theirselves! [_Titters. Mr. F.F. feels that he has got rather the worst of it, and collapses, with the dismal completeness of a Funny Man; Mrs. F. remains behind to bribe the boy with another shilling to promise her solemnly never on any account to play with any of the tortures._ _Mrs. F._ (_rejoining her husband_). FREDERIC, how _can_ you? You make me feel perfectly _faint_ when you act like this! _Mr. F._ (_recovering_). Faint, CECILIA? Well, I daresay they won't mind if you sit down in one of these spiked chairs for a minute or two. _Mrs. F._ (_angrily_). I shall do no such thing, FREDERIC! And you ought to be _ashamed_ to suggest it! _Mrs. Borrodale_ (_choosing photographs of Nuremberg_). Look, JOHN, what a lovely large one of the _Sebald's Kirche_! I really _must_ have this. Oh, and the _Insel Schutt_--and this of the _Schöne Brunnen_--and the view from the _Burg_--that makes the half-dozen. They will be joys for _ever_, JOHN! And _only_ three shillings each! Will you pay the boy for them, JOHN, please--it's just eighteen shillings. _John_. Can't, my dear. Only half-a-crown in my pocket. Don't you remember, I lent you my last sov. not five minutes ago? _Mrs. B._ Oh, so you did. Well, on second thoughts, perhaps this size is rather--I think I'll take five of the sixpenny ones instead--they're every bit as good. You can spare me that half-crown, JOHN! _A Patriot_ (_coming out_). Well, it's just the same 'ere as everywhere else. All the things "made in Germany"! Sickenin' _I_ call it! * * * * * [Illustration: A MEETING OF THE "BANDY" ASSOCIATION FOR THE PROMOTION OF "HOCKEY ON THE ICE."] * * * * * RICE AND PRUNES. [Illustration] Rice and prunes a household journal Called the chief of household boons: Hence my mother cooks diurnal Rice and prunes. Therefore on successive noons, Sombre fruit and snowy kernel Woo reluctant forks and spoons. As the ear, when leaves are vernal, Wearies of the blackbird's tunes, So we weary of eternal Rice and prunes. * * * * *