Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, January 23, 1892Various
General
Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, January 23, 1892
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
It may be stated that lots of people have promised to become
shareholders which is satisfactory. But it is necessary to add that
no one will be permitted to become a contributor to the paper even of
the most interesting nature (i.e., Press notices, &c.), until he has
contributed to its capital.
It is the intention of the Promoters that the majority of the shares
that be allotted to persons in or connected with the profession, so
that there shall be no nonsense from outsiders.
No promotion money will be paid to anyone. The only preliminary
expenses will be those connected with law and stationery.
It is proposed to start the Journal at once, per contract. The
Promoters are in communication with a gentleman who will make a
first-rate Editor, and who will (they believe) be delighted to accept
such an appointment if offered to him. Special arrangements will be
made for the insertion of such advertisements as "Wigs on the Green"
and "Curtain Razors."
As the paper will be sent about largely, it should have a good
circulation, and the Promoters give as a standing toast, "Success to
the Advertisement Department!"
Under such brilliant auspices, both the Company and the paper (as the
legal advisers, Messrs. BOX & COX would say) "should be satisfied."
In the event of no money being received, the amount will be returned
without deductions.
* * * * *
CRIES WITHOUT WOOL.
NO. 1.--"HALL THE WINNERS!"
[Illustration]
Of all the cries this world can boast--
A loud, unconscionable host--
There's one that I detest the most--
It haunts me o'er my morning toast,
It scares my luncheon's calm and dinner's.
It dogs my steps throughout the week,
That cursed crescendo of a shriek;
I cannot read, or write, or speak,
Undeafened by its howl unique,
That demon-yell of "Hall the Winners!"
I'm not, I own, a racing man;
I never loved a horse that ran,
And betting is a vice I ban;
Still, to the sporting caravan--
Or good, or bad, or saints, or sinners--
I bear no malice; nor would take
A leaf from any books they make;
Why then, should _they_, for mercy's sake,
Pursue me till my senses ache
With that relentless "Hall the Winners?"
If it were only but a few,
But "_Hall_ the Winners!"--why, the crew
Must winning be the whole year through!
Why can't a veteran or two
Retire in favour of beginners?
I'd rather welcome e'en the strain
Of "Hall the Losers!" than remain
A martyr frenzied and profane
To that importunate refrain
Of (There! they're at it!!) "Hall the Winners!"
* * * * *
THE HONOUR OF THE BAR.
_TO THE EDITOR OF PUNCH._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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