_Tutor_. You are trifling with me. _Undergraduate_. Not at all, Sir. The Chancellor was there in state. I saw him. My curiosity was satisfied, and I returned to Cambridge. _Tutor_ (_after a pause_). Ah, of course that alters the case. If you can assure me you did not go for the purpose of watching horse-races-- _Undergraduate_ (_breaking in_). Certainly, Sir. I do give you the assurance. _Tutor_. That being so, I dismiss you with a caution. [_Exit Undergraduate. The Tutor is left pondering._ * * * * * ANOTHER RURAL CONFERENCE. [A Church Dignitary, writing to _The Globe_, suggests that the rural reform most urgently needed is a better postal system in the shires.] [Illustration] _Radical Reformer_ (_meeting Rural Labourer tramping to London_). Yours is a typical case, my man. You are a victim of our insensate Land Laws, or exploded Feudalism. No doubt you are leaving the country because you could not find employment there? _Rural Labourer_. 'Tisn't that so much. Old Gaffer always had summat for a man to do, I can tell ye. _Radical Reformer_. Glad to hear it, though it's unusual. Then I suppose it is the intolerable dulness of the country that drives you away from it. _Rural Labourer_. 'Tisn't that either. Things be a bit dull in winter-time, cert'nly. But there--we've a Public, also a Free Reading Room, and-- _Radical Reformer_ (_disappointed_). Glad to hear it, again, I'm sure, though that also is unusual. Your house, now--rather, I ought to call it, your hovel, perhaps--lets in the rain badly--reeks with damp--only one room, and that a pigstye, eh? _Rural Labourer_ (_offended_). Come now, don't you call my house a pigstye! Three good rooms, and not a bit o' damp or dirt about it. _Radical Reformer_. Then the wages are low, and a tyrannical landlord refuses allotments, eh? _Rural Labourer_. Allotments! I could have as many as I wanted for the asking. But there--I _didn't_ want 'em, y'see, and I _didn't_ ask. _Radical Reformer_ (_gravelled_). Then would you explain to me what is the _real_ reason of your determination to quit the country for Town? _Rural Labourer_ (_surprised_). Why, don't you know? _There was only one collection and one delivery of letters daily!_ I couldn't stand _that_, of course. I expect I shall find more in Lunnon. Good-day! * * * * * [Illustration: LE KHÉDIVE EST MORT! VIVE LE KHÉDIVE! _British Lion_. "I HELPED YOUR FATHER AND I'LL STAND BY _YOU_."] * * * * * [Illustration: Cardinal Manning.] BORN, JULY 15, 1808. DIED, JAN. 14, 1892. One more great Voice gone silent! Friends or foes, None well could watch that long life's gentle close Without a softening thrill. A valiant champion of the faith he held, No conflict ever his strong courage quelled, Or shook his steadfast will.