_Porter_. You gif zem two franc--and zen zey vill gromble. You haf engage roûms? yes. Zat vill pe oal rahit--Your loggage in ze gondola, yes? I haf it taken op. _The H.M._ No, it's left behind at Bologna. My friend's gone back for it. And I say, think it will turn up all right? _Porter_. Eef you register it, and your vrient is zere, you ged it--yes. _The H.M._ Yes, but look _here_, don't you know? Oughtn't I to make a row--a fuss--about it, or something, eh? _Porter_ (_moving off with subdued contempt_). Oh, you can make a foss, yes, if you like--you ged nossing! _Culch. and Podb._ (_stopping him simultaneously_). I say, I want my luggage brought down from No. ---- in time for the twelve o'clock--(_To each other_.) Hallo! are _you_ off too? _Culch._ (_confused_). Er--yes--thought I might as well be getting back. _Podb._ Then I--I suppose it's all settled--with Miss T.--you know--eh? _Culch._ Fortunately--yes. And--er--_your_ engagement happily concluded? _Podb._ Well, it's _concluded_, anyway. It's all _off_, you know. I--I wasn't artistic enough for her. _Culch._ She has refused you? My _dear_ PODBURY, I'm really delighted to hear this--at least, that is-- _Podb._ Oh, don't mind _me_. I'm getting over it. But I must congratulate you on better luck. _Culch._ On precisely similar luck. Miss TROTTER and I--er--arrived at the conclusion last night that we were not formed to make each other's happiness. _Podb._ Did you, by Jove? Porter, I say, never mind about that luggage. Do you happen to know if Mr. and Miss TROTTER--the American gentleman and his daughter--are down yet? _Porter_. TRODDERS? Led me see; yes, zey ged zeir preakfast early, and start two hours since for Murano and Torcello. _Podb._ Torcello? Why that's where BOB and Miss PRENDERGAST talked of going to-day! CULCHARD, old fellow, I've changed my mind. Shan't leave to-day, after all. I shall just nip over and see what sort of place Torcello is. _Culch._ Torcello--"the Mother of Venice!" it really seems a pity to go away without having seen it. Do you know, PODBURY, I think I'll join you! _Podb._ (_not over cordially_). Come along, then--only look sharp. Sure you don't mind? Miss TROTTER will be there, you know! _Culch._ Exactly; and so--I think you said--will the--er--PRENDERGASTS. (_To Porter._) Just get us a gondola and two rowers, will you, for Torcello. And tell them to row as fast as they can! * * * * * A FAIR PHILOSOPHER. [Illustration] Ah! Chloris! be as simple still As in the dear old days; Don't prate of Matter and Free Will, And IBSEN's nasty plays, A girl should ne'er, it seems to me, Have notions so pedantic; 'Twere better far once more to be Impulsive and romantic.