_In the Cathedral._--Being shown round by Sacristan, in company with two respectable young Britons. "You shee dot oltarbiece, gentlemens," says Sacristan, "paint by RUBENS, in seexteen day, for seexteen hondert florin." Whereupon both Britons make a kind of "cluck" with their tongues. "Dat vos von hondert florin efery day he vas paint," explains the Sacristan. Britons do this division sum in their heads, check it as correct, and evidently feel increased respect for RUBENS as capable-for an artist--of driving a good bargain. "RUBENS baint him ven he vas seexteen," which younger Briton considers "very _creditable_ to him, too!" They inspect the High Altar, with more clucks, and inform one another, with the air of Protestants who are above prejudice, that it's a marvellous piece o' _work_, though, mind yer! Sacristan points out holes underneath choir-stalls. "De organ is blay over dere, and de mooshique he com out hier troo de 'oles, so all be beoples vas vender vere de schounds com from!" First Briton remarks to me that "That's a rum start, and no mistake." I agree that it _is_ a rum start. I shall find myself clucking presently, I know! "Haf you scheen yed de bortraits of GLATSHTONE and Lort BAGONSFELDT?" Sacristan asks us "... 'No?' then I show you." He leads us up to the finial of one of the stalls, which is carved in the figure of a monk. "Is not dat de Ole Grandt Man himself?" he asks, triumphantly. Second Briton agrees "It's a wonderful likeness, reelly." His Companion admits "They've got old GLADSTONE there to a _t_"--but adds that "come to _that_, it might do for _either of_ 'em." "Lort BAGONSFELDT" is opposite, but, as Sacristan observes, would be more like "if dey only vas gif him a leedle gurl on de vorehead." Next we are taken to the Retro-Choir and shown the "mosh gurious and peautiful bainting in de ole Cathedrale. Schtand yust hier, Gentelmens, _now_ you see him. Beoples say, 'Oh, yais, _ve_ know, yust a marble-garvings--a baw releff!' I dell you, nodings of de kindt. All so flat as a biece of vite baper--com close op. Vat you tink? Vonderful, hey?" Britons deeply impressed by this and other wonders, and inform Sacristan that their own Cathedrals "ain't _in_ it." "Look at the _value_ of the things they've _got_ 'ere, you know," they say to me, clucking, and then depart, after asking Sacristan the nearest way to the Zoo.