_Friday._--House met at two o'clock; might have sat till seven; but at five minutes to five gently broke up. Won't be back till Thursday. "Not much of a holiday." said Viscount GRIMSTONE, formerly of the Herts Militia; "better make the most of it;" and he set off at the rate of five miles an hour. _Business done._--Adjourned for the Whitsun Recess. * * * * * [Illustration] THE VIGOROUS VICAR.--Dr. MILLS of Coventry, to which place his bitterest enemies cannot relegate him as he is already there, acts up to his name, as a Member of the Church Militant, with pluck and perseverance, whether right or wrong it is not for _amicus curiæ_ to say. But, it may be asked, is this action for the rates, on the part of the Vicar, a Vicar's first-Rate Act or not? Some parishioners suspend payment; we suspend judgment. * * * * * VERY NATURAL ERROR.--A gentleman who up till now has been a quiet sort of man, with nothing suggestive of the "P.R." about him, sent to excuse himself from appearing at our old friend Mrs. RAM's dinner-party, because as he wrote to her nephew, who read the letter aloud, "I am off to see Woodhall Spa." "What!" she exclaimed, "Prize-fighting beginning again! And isn't Mr. WOODHALL or WOODALL a Member of Parliament? He ought to know better. Where are the police?" * * * * * "IT WILL WASH!"--"Abolition of the House of Peers!" No, stop--spell it with an "a," and make it "Pears,"--now a Company Limited. Going along in first-rate style. The Pears' Soap Christmas Book, illustrated, is to be a new edition of "_His Soaps Fables_." Next form of advertisement,--"Very good morning! Just bought Pears' Soap Shares." * * * * * FRENCH PLAYS IN LONDON.--The old saying applies, "They do these things better in France." London prefers to go to Paris for its French plays; but when two rivals, a BERNHARDT and a COQUELIN, come over to London, Londoners give the lady a chance of making her charming voice heard, but the clever French actor has, literally, to "shut up." * * * * * ROYAL DECISION.--When the QUEEN goes from Balmoral to Mar Lodge, Her Majesty takes a Deesided course. * * * * * NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.