MUTUAL ADVERTISEMENT BY THE COURT JESTER.--At the Shaftesbury Theatre is announced _A Play in Little_. At the Court they might announce a LITTLE in a Play. [N.B.--For explanation see Cast under Clock.] Just now, very little in any play. * * * * * [Illustration: A DISTINCTION WITH A DIFFERENCE. _Mistress_ (_to applicant for situation, who has been dismissed, from her last place_). "SO YOU'VE JUST LEFT? DIDN'T YOUR SITUATION SUIT YOU?" _Martha._ "OH YES, 'M. SITUATION SOOTED ME VERY WELL. IT WAS ME, MUM, AS DIDN'T SOOT THE SITUATION!"] * * * * * FROM A LAHORE PAPER.--"_Punch_," the writer ought to have said "_Mr. Punch_,"--"possesses a battery of guns, and maintains a standing army of 1,200 men." Quite correct. Wonderful how they get the news out there. The guns fire a hundred jokes per minute; all killing ones. The standing army do the thing well, and will stand anything (well-iced) to all friends within reasonable limits, under command of _Mr. Punch_, President. * * * * * VERY NATURAL.--Mrs. BROWN POTTER, tired of playing a Hero, is now coming out as a Heroine before the Chaff'dsbury Theatre is shut up. * * * * * _ROD and RIVER_ is the title of a useful book about fly-fishing (it only needs "fly-leaves" for notes to make it perfect), written by a Major bearing the appropriate name of FISHER. One note he might append for the benefit of intending Etonians, that those who, not having "passed" their swimming examination, venture to go on the "river", are in danger of the "rod." * * * * * MRS. RAM was told that Mr. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN is a giant in intellect. She said, "I don't know much about intellect, but he must be a very big giant to carry an orchard in his buttonhole." * * * * * ODONT.! (_AN ODE TO THE MODERN FLORA._) Oh, Flora, fair Goddess of Flowers, skies brighten, the gardens are glowing, And lo! 'tis the season of Flower Shows, when everything seems "All-a-blowing!" And what the dickens you've been up to with the dictionary, I'm dashed if there's any possibility of knowing.