DEBT.--"SIMPLE SIMON" writes: "A man owes me money which he cannot pay. He lives in furnished lodgings, and has given me a Bill of Sale on the furniture. Is this sufficient security? He also offers to insure his life for £200 if I will advance him £100, which will be the cost of the first premium, which he says is always heavy. I am disposed to close with this offer. Am I prudent?"--Prudent is hardly the word to describe you. We should not in your position make the advance mentioned. A retreat would be much better tactics. We fancy, from your description, that your friend would do well as a Company Promoter. STOCK-DEALING TRANSACTIONS.--"Will you advise me under the following circumstances?" asks "CHEERFUL SOUL," on a post-card. "I placed £50 with an Outside Broker as a speculation for the rise in Cashville and Toothpeka First Preference. Yesterday I received a note to say I had lost my money, as 'cover had run off.' On repairing to the Broker's Office, I was surprised to find it apparently deserted. What is my remedy?"--We should imagine that the Broker had "run off" too. Your remedy is--not to speculate again. "Flutters" lead to the Gutters. * * * * * [Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED OTHERWISE. _Married Vicar_, "WELL, MY BISHOP WAS VERY PARTICULAR WITH _ME_. AMONG OTHER THINGS, HE ASKED ME, BEFORE PRESENTING ME, _WHETHER MY WIFE WAS A LADY_!" _His Curate_ (_reflectively_). "I CAN _QUITE_ UNDERSTAND _THAT_!"] * * * * * THE WAY THEY HAVE IN THE ARMY. (_A CONVERSATION--PURELY IMAGINARY._) SCENE--_Pall Mall. Present, SECRETARY OF STATE and Military Adviser._ _Mil. A._ I want to know your ideas about the Autumn Manoeuvres. Are we to have any this year? _Sec. of S._ (_with a melancholy smile_). That depends upon circumstances not entirely under my control. _Mil. A._ Oh, yes; I know. But Governments may come and Governments may go, but the State flows on for ever. Whatever _you_ commence _they_ will have to carry out. _Sec. of S._ Can we have these Manoeuvres without expense? _Mil. A._ Well, scarcely. For instance, there is the ammunition. _Sec. of S._ Oh, we can get over that! Every soldier, when he is supposed to fire, can say, "Bang!" or words to that effect. We might add the direction to the new Provisional Drill-Book. _Mil. A._ (_drily_). Yes, you might; and it would prove about as useful as the other regulations in that remarkable volume! Well, suppose the difficulty of ammunition surmounted, what next? _Sec. of S._ Well, I suppose we shall have to spend some money on the farmers for rights of way and the rest of it? _Mil. A._ I suppose so, if you want the troops to move over an unfamiliar country. _Sec. of S._ But I am not sure I do. Why shouldn't they learn how to defend Aldershot? Then it would cost nothing. What next? _Mil. A._ Well, there will be the Commissariat expenses.