_Grand Old Jockey._ _You_ won't, my brave boy; that a novice could tell. You'll be left in the ruck at the end, my young dandy, _Rising Young Jockey._ Perhaps! Still the pencillers haven't,--as yet-- Quite knocked the nag out with their furious fever Of hot opposition. Some cool ones still bet On his chance of a win. _Grand Old Jockey_ (_contemptuously_). Ah, you're wonderful clever. But we have got one in _our_ Stable, my lad, Who can--just lick his head off! _Rising Young Jockey_ (_drily_). Now have you indeed, WILL? I fancy I've heard that before. Very glad That your lot are in luck; and I hope you'll succeed, WILL, But bless me! yours seems such a _very_ Dark Horse! Oh! there, don't fire up so! Your word I won't doubt, WILL. You say so, and one must believe you, of course; But--_isn't_ it time that you _brought the nag out_, WILL? * * * * * [Illustration: A VERY "DARK HORSE." OLD JOCKEY. "DON'T THINK MUCH OF HIS POINTS! WE'VE ONE IN OUR STABLE CAN LICK HIS HEAD OFF!" YOUNG JOCKEY. "_HAVE_ YOU? THEN WHY DON'T YOU _BRING HIM OUT_?"] * * * * * HISTORY AS SHE IS PLAYED! _Questioner._ Why should M.V. SARDOU be called the Historian of the French Revolution? _Answerer._ Because in _Thermidor_ he has given an entirely new version of the "Reign of Terror." _Q._ Was the "Reign of Terror" very terrible? _A._ Not very. At the Opéra Comique it had its comic side. _Q._ How was that? _A._ For instance, _les tricoteuses_ were represented by comely, albeit plump maidens, who seemed more inclined to dance round a Maypole than haunt a scaffold. _Q._ Were ROBESPIERRE, ST. JUST, and the rest, cruel and vindictive? _A._ I should say not; and I found my conclusion on the fact that they engaged an actor given to practical joking as an officer of the Public Security. _Q._ From this, do you take it that ROBESPIERRE must have had a subtle sense of humour? _A._ I do; and the impression is strengthened by his order for a general slaughter of Ursuline Nuns. _Q._ Why should he order such a massacre? _A._ To catch the heroine of _Thermidor_, a lady who had taken the vows under the impression that her lover had been killed by the enemy. _Q._ Had her lover been killed? _A._ Certainly not; he had preferred to surrender. _Q._ Can you give me any idea of the component part of a revolutionary crowd? _A._ At the Opéra Comique, a revolutionary crowd seems to consist of a number of mournful loungers, who have nothing to do save to take a languid interest in the fate of a tearful maiden, and a few _gens d'armes_ a little uncertain about their parade-ground. _Q._ How do the mournful loungers express their interest in the fate of the tearful maiden?