PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 102. March 12, 1892. DOING THE OLD MASTERS. (_A SKETCH AT BURLINGTON HOUSE_.) IN GALLERY NO. I. _The Usual Elderly Lady_ (_who judges every picture solely by its subject_). "No. 9. Portrait of Mrs. BRYANSTON of Portman. By GAINSBOROUGH." I don't like that at all. Such a _disagreeable_ expression! I can't think why they exhibit such things. I'm sure there's no _pleasure_ in looking at them! _Her Companion_ (_who finds no pleasure in looking at any of them_). No, I must say I prefer the Academy to these old-fashioned things. I suppose we can get a cup of _tea_ here, though? _An Intelligent Person_. "Mrs. BRYANSTON of Portman." Sounds like a made-up name rather, eh? Portman Square, and all that, y'know! [Illustration: "My dear fellow, as if it was possible to mistake his touch!"] _His Friend_ (_with a touching confidence in the seriousness of the authorities_). Oh, they wouldn't do that sort of thing _here_! _A Too-impulsive Enthusiast_. Oh, JOHN, _look_ at that lovely tiger up there! _Isn't_ the skin marvellously painted, and the eyes so natural and all! It's a Landseer of _course_! _John_. Catalogue says STUBBS. _The Enth._ (_disenchanted_). STUBBS? I never heard of him. But it's really rather well done. _The Man who is a bit of a Connoisseur in his way_ (_arriving at a portrait of Mrs. BILLINGTON_). Not a bad Romney, that. _His Friend_ (_with Catalogue_). What makes you think it's a Romney? _The Conn._ My dear fellow, as if it was possible to mistake his touch. (_Thinks from his friend's expression, that he had better hedge._) Unless it's a Reynolds. Of course it _might_ be a Sir Joshua, their manner at one period was very much alike--yes, it might be a Reynolds, certainly. _His Friend_. It might be a Holbein--if it didn't happen to be a Gainsborough. _The Conn._ (_effecting a masterly retreat_). Didn't I _say_ Gainsborough? Of course that was what I _meant_. Nothing like Reynolds--nor Romney either. Totally different thing! IN GALLERY NO. II. _Mr. Ernest Stodgely_ (_before JAN STEEN's "Christening"_). Now look at this, FLOSSIE; very curious, very interesting. Gives you such an insight into the times. This man, you see, is wearing a hat of the period. Remarkable, isn't it? _Miss Featherhead_. Not so remarkable as if he was wearing a hat of some _other_ period, ERNEST, is it? _The Elderly Lady_ (_before a View of Amsterdam, by Van der Heyden_). Now, you really _must_ look at this, my dear--isn't it wonderful? Why, you can count every single brick in the walls, and the tiny little figures with their features all complete; you want a magnifying-glass to _see_ it all! How conscientious painters were in those days! And _what_ a difference from those "Impressionists," as they call themselves. _Her Comp._ (_apathetically_). Yes, indeed; I wonder whether it would be better to get our tea here, or wait till we get outside?