Let this "Comic Opera," for so is it described in the bills, be cut down as ruthlessly, but not as blindly, as _William_ cut down _Crosstree_; let something catching be substituted for most of the music of the First Act,--specially omitting the "Why, certainly!" interpolation, which is a feeble but evident imitation of Mr. W.S. GILBERT's classic "What, never?" "Well, hardly ever;" let the music of the Second Act be taken out by handfuls, and, if possible, let what remains be replaced by something sparkling; then, with less of sweet but sad _William_--for the present version of the part is quite "BURTON's _Anatomy of Melancholy_,"--with less of fascinating but squirming _Susan_, far less of minor characters generally, and more, by comparison, of the two MACS--meaning the two ARTHURS with the plural names ROBERTS and WILLIAMS,--also a telling song for Mr. CHAUNCEY OLCOTT (whose singing now wins an _encore_ for an indifferent ballad),--with the Captain's-giggy hornpipe of Mr. WILLIE WARD retained, as also the graceful dancing of Miss KATIE SEYMOUR, and then, omitting as much of the plot and authors' written dialogue as can be conveniently spared,--very little of it would be missed,--there is no rhyme or reason why _Blue-Eyed Susan_ should not run on as a Variety Entertainment for any number of nights and days, during which fresh material can be constantly substituted by Messrs. ROBERTS & Co. of the Drollery Company, Unlimited, without racking the fertile brains of Messrs. PETTITT AND SIMS. * * * * * [Illustration: THE SALVATION HOUSE OF COMMONS. OUR PARLIAMENTARY ARTIST'S DREAM, MARCH 10.] * * * * * [Illustration: ONE FOR HIM. _Major Spooneleigh_. "AND YOU RIDE SO WELL, AND--ER--YOU DRIVE SO WONDERFULLY WELL, AND--ER--YOU DANCE SO--ER--BEAUTIFULLY, AND YOU--ER--PLAY LAWN-TENNIS SO--ER--EXQUISITELY, AND--ER--OF COURSE YOU FISH ALSO?" _Mrs. Dasher_. "NEVER FOR COMPLIMENTS, I ASSURE YOU; AND CERTAINLY NOT IN SHALLOW WATERS!"] * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. [Illustration: Chief Secretary.] _House of Commons, Monday, March_ 14.--JACKSON turned up to-night answering questions from Irish Members. This reminds us he's Irish Secretary. Been so of course since Parliament met; but quite forgotten it. Mention this to the SPEAKER who looked a little dull while Captain PRICE was discoursing on Navy Affairs in Committee of Supply. So went up to have a little chat with him in the Chair.