Or would you even higher fly, And found a "Cult"? You've but to try. That blend fools follow in full cry, Meaninglessness _plus_ Mystery! A witch astride upon a broom, A bogie in a darkened room, Nonsense and nubibustic gloom,-- Mix them like witch-broth; they will "boom"! _Chorus_--Tra-la! We "boom" to-day! [_Till you are tired of it._ VII. Boom! Boom! 'Twill bring in cent. per cent., With that Big Drum, Advertisement. Nonsense, with _nous_ discreetly blent, Finds the world cheated--and content. But "make your game" while yet there's room, For novel shapes of quackery. Doom Awaits us in the outer gloom: A day _may_ come when Bosh _won't_ "Boom"! _Chorus._ That's how we "boom" to-day! Tra-la! We "boom" to-day! Ha-ha! We "boom" to-day! Tra-la! We "boom" to-day! [_And so on till further orders._ * * * * * [Illustration: "ASSISTED EDUCATION."] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.--Quoth one of the Baron's Assistants to his Chief, "Sir, those who love the personality, and venerate the memory of CHARLES DICKENS, will thank Miss HOGARTH who has selected, Mr. LAWRENCE HUTTON who has edited, and OSGOOD, MCILVAINE & CO. who publish, a series of letters addressed by BOZ to WILKIE COLLINS. They bear date between the years 1851 and 1870, were found among COLLINS'S papers after his death, and prove not the least precious of his possessions. _Foster's Life of Dickens_ will undoubtedly remain the medium through which the outer world shall know the great novelist." "True," interposes the Baron, "that certainly is one way in which admiration for the works of the great novelist will be foster'd among us. You agree? Of course you do. Proceed, sweet warbler, your observations interest me much." Whereupon the warbler thus addressed continued. "But, Sir, we are all conscious of a certain unpleasant taste those volumes leave in the mouth. Some of the incidents recorded, and many of the letters, present DICKENS with undue prominence in a possible phase of his character, as a ruthless tradesman in literature and lecturing, with some tendency to be overbearing in his social relations. In this little volume of letters to his old familiar friend we find him at his best, whether as a worker in literature or as a critic of other people's work." BARON DE BOOKWORMS & CO. * * * * * [Illustration: "JOINT OCCUPATION." (_Suggested by Cook's Tourist in Egypt._)] * * * * * [Illustration: THE MODERN ALEXANDER'S FEAST; OR, THE POWER OF SOUND. "WITH RAVISHED EARS, THE MONARCH HEARS, ASSUMES THE GOD, AFFECTS TO NOD, AND SEEMS TO SHAKE THE SPHERES!"] * * * * * [Illustration: QUITE UP TO DATE. _Cousin Madge._ "WELL, GOOD-BYE, CHARLIE. SO MANY THANKS FOR TAKING CARE OF US!" _Charlie._ "_NOT AT ALL_!"]