"Get your HARCOURT! Get your HARCOURT!" But, with quip, and jibe, and flout, I completely put them out. "Get your HARCOURT! Get your HARCOURT!" But I beat them, and their sun goes down! They try all sorts of "counters" to My slogging strokes--in vain. The "Thunderer" slates me every day, But still I slog again. Old W.G. in 'Ninety-Three May form a Cabinet; Then his first thought will be of Me, And all will cry (you bet!)-- _Chorus._ "Get your HARCOURT! Get your HARCOURT! Whoever may stand out, Malwood's Squire must join, no doubt. Get your HARCOURT! Get your HARCOURT!" And _I'll_ mock them when their sun goes down! * * * * * TO THE GRAND OLD TORY. (_BY THE WIFE OF A DISSENTING CUMBRIAN WORKMAN_.) O WILLIAM, you have managed to offend. The Workmen, and the Women, and the Welsh. Beware, or you'll discover ere the end That the _three_ W.'s the great _one_ can squelch! * * * * * [Illustration: ENCOURAGING, VERY! _Cockney Art-Teacher_ (_newly arrived and nervous--after a long silence_). "IF YOU _SHOULD_ SEE A CHANCE O' DRORIN' ANYTHING CORRECTLY--DO SO!!" [_Collapse of expectant Student._] * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. _House of Commons. Monday, May 2_.--"Would that midnight or Closure would come!" murmured Prince ARTHUR just now, looking wearily up at clock. It is only eleven; still another hour; hard even for trained nerves. For more than six hours been discussing Scotch Equivalent Grant. CLARK's musical voice has floated through the House by the half hour. [Illustration: "Curling himself up with delight."]